Feeding Angels

Finding the Right Buzz

2012-02-09T11:56:00.000-05:00

Or, I guess I should say the right buzz kill. Caffeine is known to have a calming affect on those who suffer with ADD or ADHD. It's a stimulant and acts much like ADD medication does in helping with focus and attention. Most pediatricians, though, will still caution that caffeine is not good for children. With that being said, we (my pediatrician husband and I) decided to try it with our autistic son.

It's not easy to find a caffeine delivery system for a child allergic to corn with certain food texture/temperature aversions.

So, my first thought, being from the South, was to give him a glass of sweet tea in the morning before school. Sounds easy enough, right? Wrong. He hated it.

Soda, even the natural kind, isn't an option because he can't stand the fizziness. Warm liquids are equally as hard to tolerate. I tried yerba mate (something I like to drink) and earl gray tea over ice. Same reaction as the sweet tea, even when I sweetened it to the pucker point. Still, we were noticing a difference in his behavior when I was able to get him to drink some of it, usually accomplished with bribing. So, I scoured the health food isle at our local special-diet-friendly grocery store to find Energy Bites, a berry yerba mate drink, and a natural energy shot.

First the yerba mate drink, Guayaki Yerba Mate Very Berry 16 oz. with 150mg of caffeine per can. WOW! A can of Coke has 33mg, and a can of Mountain Dew has 50mg of caffeine. I thought, "Hey, this might work. I can just give him half a cup, ask him to take it like medicine, and he'll get more than enough to get the job done." However, this stuff doesn't keep well after opening, and the more I tried this, the more he reacted with whiney icky faces. I liked it enough, though, to keep buying it for those mornings when I need more focus and attention, or a swift kick in the heinie.

Next we tried the Energy Bites. "Mom, they taste good, I just can't chew them." Given the initial look on his face at first bite, it took me a little while to get brave enough to try them. They do taste ok, but wow, they took some serious chewing. Think stale gummy worms, the cheap kind from the 80's. I think these will end up work out food for mommy.

Next the the tiny little bottle of Steaz Energy Shot. 150mg of caffeine in a 2.5 oz bottle. I knew better than to ask him to drink it straight at this point, and he does NOT need that much caffeine. This time I decided to just add it to something he liked. In this case, a milkshake.

2-3 good scoops of Breyers All Natural Vanilla ice cream

2-3 good scoops of Stonyfield Organic Vanilla yogurt

2-3 tsp of Lyle's Golden Syrup (to sweeten it, you could probably use honey, too)

enough milk to make it smooth, and

.5 oz or 1 tsp Steaz Energy Shot (I figure about 30mg of caffeine)

Well, this time, he drank it all down to the last drop and asked me AFTER it was all gone why he got to have a milk shake with breakfast. I said it was a special milk shake with medicine in it, and we were going to try it for a few days. His eyes lit up like I had just told him Christmas might come next week. "A milkshake for breakfast? Cool." Now, I would add fruit and make it a smoothie, but Jackson can tell if there's one strawberry/raspberry/ANYberry seed in a whole cup of juice. He likes orange juice though, so maybe I'll try my hand at making an orange julius copy recipe.

He focused well for me during school, and seemed more calm so far this morning. Maybe we've found the answer. Making a milkshake for breakfast will make more sense to me when the weather warms up. Right now, just watching him drink it made me cold. I'm currently dressed in mommy sweats with the fire going. General Lee (Georgia's groundhog) predicted an early Spring though. So, Spring, the sooner you get here, the sooner I can start complaining about how hot it is and how much I miss the cold.

Lay It Down

2012-02-08T17:01:00.000-05:00

I'm not exactly sure how to put this into words. All I know right now is that I need to. It's eating away at my soul and threatening to unravel my sanity, at least what little I have left.

When Jackson was diagnosed with PDD (on the autism spectrum), I remember feeling like I was in over my head. First food allergies, and now this. I hit hyper advocate mode. I had to do everything in my power to get him all he needed to succeed in life. I spent hours researching and learning about his diagnosis, and countless more hours experimenting with what I learned. We got him into Babies Can't Wait (a Georgia program for special needs children under 3), got him into therapy and started wading through insurance denials and loop holes. At 3, we put him in a self contained autism class in a public school (oh, the trepidation I felt watching my 3 year old son who could barely talk being walked into a gigantic elementary school by a total stranger) plus two school therapy sessions a week. We struggled through the daunting process of applying for the Katie Becket Deeming Waiver for Medicaid (a life saver, otherwise, we wouldn't have been able to afford therapy). For a while, he was getting two private therapy sessions and two school therapy sessions a week. We finally figured out his diet and got his stomach issues under control. He began to develop at an exponential rate. Milestones were finally being reached. We were working closely with a developmental pediatrician, a psychologist, and multiple therapists and teachers. It was so amazing to see. Part of me wanted to believe we were 'curing' his autism one therapy session and doctor visit at a time. I started thinking he was going to be just fine. I started feeling guilty complaining about his diagnosis. I started feeling like I had nothing more to offer other parents we met at the beginning of our journey. I started feeling guilty as we saw Jackson pulling away from the other special needs students in his class. I quit talking about our life and ongoing struggles with his diagnosis. I let those relationships that sustained me at the beginning of this journey fade into the background.

We mainstreamed Jackson for preschool, and he was doing so well that we decided to put him into a special homeschool satellite program with his older typically developing brother. We were assured by his therapists and preschool teachers that he would be fine. The public school teachers and therapists would have mainstreamed him if we sent him there. So, we thought it was a good idea. At the very least this would ease him into the full time school thing since he would be going to class twice a week and at home with me the other days. We thought this was the best option for him. Now after struggling through the first few months of the school year, I'm beginning to think we were wrong.

Once again, I feel like I'm in over my head. We've had problems with his behavior in school from day one. He's struggling with things we thought we had conquered long ago. His differences are obvious in a peer setting. He struggles to make friends and be appropriately friendly. He struggles in class. There are so many details that go into the dynamic of the classroom, the teacher, the structure, the way the classroom is run, the way Jackson feels about school. It could be any one thing or all of those details compounding on each other. I know this particular classroom isn't working for him, but I'm so completely lost about what to do. The options aren't the same now. He didn't speak like a 3 year old should speak; so, speech therapy was the answer. He had low motor skills and body awareness; so, occupational therapy was the answer. He had violent reactions to some foods; so, an elimination diet was the answer. Now, he can't focus, doesn't properly interact with peers, refuses to obey his teacher, refuses to do his work in class. We've tried creative discipline, rewards, medication, diet, sensory stimulation/calming techniques, meetings with the school. We can't seem to get a handle on it. We've been wading through all the education options for our county, and it's almost as difficult as all the insurance and medicaid struggles we had early on in our journey. All homeschool isn't the answer because he NEEDS peer interaction to grow socially. All private isn't the answer because there's no way we could afford it on top of everything else. All public is scary given the class size and the few options he has left in the school system (due to his high rate of function). It's like we're stuck in the middle, in no-man's land.

At this point, the weight of this burden has all but silenced me. Even in prayer, all I seem to be able to get out of my mouth is, HELP! Those of you who know me well, know that asking a human for help is nearly impossible for me, and accepting help offered is almost as impossible. I kind of feel like a spoiled child. I don't want to reach out for help, I want God to miraculously intervene and make every problem go away. I'm not sure exactly where I got the idea that this is how things work, or the idea that I need to maintain some kind of Rockwell white picket fence image at all costs. I want it all to be perfect, and when it isn't, I want it to at least look perfect.

I can share spiritual burdens and struggles fairly easily, but the burden of a mother, that one I tend to prefer carrying all by myself. The thought of sharing it or letting it go is completely terrifying to me. I can't see how anyone else could serve this child and this purpose with the same kind of reckless abandon that I will. He's MY baby, and that makes his struggles my struggles. That makes his problems my problems. That makes his life and all that goes into it my responsibility. That means I have to carry it all because sharing even a little part means letting go of too much.

"Cast all your care upon him; for he cares for you." - 1 Peter 5:7

So, if I were talking to myself as a friend, being completely honest and candid, I would probably share something like the above verse and tell my overburdened self to share it with God, because Jackson is ultimately HIS baby. Jackson's struggles are His struggles. Jackson's problems are His problems. Jackson's life and all that goes into it is His responsibility. That I belong to Him in the same way, and He will serve me and this child with more reckless abandon than I could ever imagine. He already has.

So, in an attempt to listen to the part of my brain that is still working, I want to share part of this burden. I'm going to type out the prayer on my heart right now, and hope that if you're reading this post and feeling the weight of a similar burden, that you can pray along with me.

"So, Man of Sorrow, acquainted with grief, I need Your help and the prayers of Your people.

I, once again, need reminding that I'm not alone. That some transparency could be applied in this area of my life to my gain and to the benefit of others around me struggling with carrying a burden too big for them.

I need to remember that no one has the perfect family. The image I remember idolizing on the cover of the Saturday Evening Post is a painting, and frankly, no one could possibly carry the turkey on that cover much less the burden of maintaining that image.

I have problems. My children have problems. That doesn't make me a bad mother, it just makes me human.

I can't walk this path alone. I need You and those you have placed beside me. I need them, and they need me. Our burdens may be different, but they were all meant to be shared.

I need to remember that You are ultimately the only one capable of carrying my burdens. That laying them down at Your feet is the only hope I have of ever standing straight and tall as Your child.

I need you. Jackson needs you. Please give us the answers we need, and lead us through this maze of life to the destination You have prepared for us.

Help me to rest in your love and provision and allow you to carry me and my burdens.

I ask all this in the name of my Savior, Jesus Christ..... Amen."

Another Odd Request for a 7 Year Old

2012-01-10T19:34:00.000-05:00

So, after the parsnip request, I asked my 7 year old if there was some other food he wanted to try. He said brussel sprouts. I have to admit, I was a little skeptical having never been a fan, but holding to my 'try anything once' philosophy, I had to say let's try it.

I've had brussel sprouts I liked before, but they were prepared by a trained chef in a nice restaurant. So, this was all pretty new to me. I asked around and decided to pan fry them in butter with a little salt and pepper. They turned out pretty good, I think, and I enjoyed them very much. My little guy, though, tolerated them mostly because he asked for them and he wanted to get desert (something you only get if you finish your veggies). He said he didn't want to eat them again. I'm cool with that, and honestly, I'm just happy to see him branching out and trying new things willingly. Who knows what he'll want to try next.

Confessions of a Root Snob

2012-01-03T19:49:00.000-05:00

Hello, my name is Rachel. I'm 31 years old, and I've never eaten a parsnip. Of course, I'm always up for trying new things, and when my son asked if we could try parsnips, I had to say I was game. Where does a 7 year old get the idea to try parsnips, Food Network, of course.

I looked up all kinds of recipes, grill them, mash them, roast them. These little mysteries were pretty versatile. I was impressed and inspired. So, I decided I would just roast them like I do any other root veggie we already like. Since I wasn't sure we would like them (although my son assured me that we would because Alton Brown said so), I decided to cook them with potatoes and carrots. Note to self: next time you cook parsnips with potatoes, use a more hearty potato or cut them much bigger. By the time the parsnips and carrots were done, the potatoes I used were a little over done.

I have to say I enjoyed my first parsnip very much. My little guy enjoyed them, too, and he was super proud when I told him I would make sure everyone knew that trying parsnips was his idea. Yay for a new veggie in our house!

Roasted Root Vegetables

4-5 carrots, peeled and sliced (approximately)
4-5 parsnips, peeled and sliced (approximately)
6-7 red potatoes, sliced (Giada De Laurentis uses red bliss potatoes, I don't even know what those are, but thought I would share since the golden kind didn't work out so great for me)
4-5 Tbsp extra virgin olive oil
1 tsp basil (approximately)
1 tsp oregano (approximately)
1 tsp thyme (approximately)
1 tsp sugar (approximately, my Memaw says a little bit of sugar makes all the difference for veggies)
Salt and Pepper, to taste

Preheat oven to 400°. Grease a large shallow pan or cookie sheet. In a large mixing bowl, combine carrots, parsnips and potatoes. Add salt, pepper, basil, oregano, thyme, sugar and oil and toss to coat. Spread out in the pan. You want a pretty thin layer so it all cooks evenly. Cook for about 30-40 minutes or until fork tender.

New Loves and Old Flames

2011-08-30T14:19:00.000-04:00

New love, spontaneous and exciting, seems to me to create an appetite for adventure and experimentation. While an old flame, tried and true, seems to me to be more steady and performance proven. Both on their own can best the other using pros and cons based on your personality and season of life, but when you're able to put them both together, that's when the real magic happens.

Many of you know I'm currently separated....from my oven. In my quest for the perfect house with the perfect kitchen, I had to leave my oven/stove behind. I am now living in a future perfect kitchen with only one large major appliance installed, the refrigerator. In this time of separation and struggle, I've found two new loves and rekindled my relationship with two old flames. And, hopefully, when I'm able to once again be reunited with my estranged oven and stove (which will then have been converted to a double wall oven and 6 burner gas cook top), I will be able to combine my new loves and old flames to make edible magic.

Please let me introduce you to my newest love, a DeLonghi 3lb capacity fryer.

This baby made short work of my weekly nugget fry. I was able to cook 2 lbs of chicken nuggets in one batch. This means I can now cook these in a monthly supply for my freezer, and it won't take me all night. I was giggling and squealing like a school girl putting this lovely appliance to the test.

I would also like to introduce you to another new love, a KitchenAid toaster oven.

I have to say that I've never really used a toaster oven before. I know, crazy, right? It's true, though. I had no idea what was possible, and have been very pleasantly surprised. So far, I've made cookies, cupcakes, toasted sandwiches, homemade pizzas and more in this handsome little addition to my home.

However, there is an old flame that had been all but forgotten in my old kitchen. Bringing him out only for pancakes once in a blue moon, I had begun to think I might need to send him on to a new home. My electric skillet, seen here cooking a new favorite stir fry recipe (which I will be posting later).

I received this as a gift for my wedding more than 9 years ago. I used it quite often then, but somehow I had forgotten over the years just how useful and dependable this little appliance could be. I've used it for almost every meal in our new house, and I have really enjoyed having more temperature control than on a gas range eye.

Another old flame that has been revived during my separation period is my crock pot (well, I have three actually, one is lost in the pyramid of boxes still in my garage). Now, I've used my crock pot much more often over the years than my electric skillet, and I would never have considered giving it away. However, it was not my go to appliance just because it takes planning to use it. No fly by the seat of your pants cooking in a crock pot. It might be more boring and predictable, but it is all the more dependable and useful when you need it. So, this post wouldn't be complete without mentioning the slow cooking dear.

I've often thought that the recipes that I try and create might come out better if I had better equipment or a bigger kitchen to work in. The truth is, you can create good food in any size kitchen with pretty much any equipment. Combine the desire to cook, a little love and creativity along with some good old fashioned hard work and perseverance, and you can make edible magic.

"Fixing" Autism

2011-08-24T08:48:00.002-04:00

Autism Speaks shared this video, and I just had to repost it. Such a simple video with an extremely powerful message. Why is it that we can't get funding for autism research like we can pediatric aids and cancer? Are we still fighting the battle with shame? Is it not as important in the public eye because it doesn't end life?

1 in 110 children, and one of those children is mine. Pass it on.

The Best Buttercream Icing EVER

2011-08-08T22:46:00.003-04:00

A good friend of mine shared her recipe for buttercream icing with me years ago. I believe it was a recipe she learned working for a caterer or baker, and it has taken on many different forms while I was trying to figure out all of Jackson's digestive issues. At one time, you probably wouldn't have recognized any of the ingredients, but this is the final recipe as it has been imprinted in my memory. I'm pretty sure that this is very close to the original minus the specialty ingredients, and I can't imagine using any other recipe for my little guy's cakes. He LOVES it! So, when my friend reads this post, THANK YOU, and I hope you don't mind my sharing it with the world.

1 cup (2 sticks) Butter
1 cup Shortening
1 large bag (24-32 oz.) Powdered Sugar (365 Everyday Value, a Whole Foods store brand, and Trader Joe's store brand powdered sugar does not contain corn starch.)
5 tsp Vanilla Extract (Rodelle or Spice Island)
1/2 tsp salt
Enough water to smooth mixture to proper consistency

Cream butter andshortening. Add vanilla and salt. Mix well. Add sugar a little at a time untilwell blended. Add water to desired consistency. Spread onto cake or refrigeratefor later use.

Newest Yellow Cake Recipe Experiment

2011-08-08T22:34:00.002-04:00

(photo to come)

I put together an awesome cake recipe from scratch. Loved it used it all the time until we did the gluten free/casein free diet, and because I didn't write it down, it got lost. So, I'm still searching for that best birthday cake or cupcake recipe. This is the latest in that search. I found it on AllRecipes.com and it has an awesome flavor and texture. It's not Duncan Hines, but it's really good.

1 cup butter
2 cups white sugar
4 eggs
2 1/2 cups self-rising flour
1 cup milk
1 tablespoon vanilla extract

In a medium bowl, cream together the butter and sugar. Beat in the eggs, one at a time. Combine the milk and vanilla, add alternately to the creamed mixture with the flour, ending with the flour. Mix only as much as necessary. Pour into the prepared pans.

Bake for 15 to 20 minutes in the preheated oven. Cake will pull away from the sides of the pan slightly when done. Allow cakes to cool in the pans for a few minutes before removing to wire racks to cool completely.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Grease and flour three 8 inch pans.

More Breakfast Choices

2011-08-05T19:31:00.002-04:00

We're still in limbo right now, but I had to share a new product discovery.

If my children are with me while I grocery shop, I will often allow them to choose their own breakfast cereal. Jackson has never really noticed not having much of a choice before, but recently he asked me if he could choose his own like Jacob and Allie. One of those, 'ok, give me a second' moments while I scramble to read labels and recheck the isle. I noticed a box I hadn't seen before and decided to check it out. I'm very happy to say we were able to add two more cereals to Jackson's list of choices. Originally just Rice Krispies and Rice Chex, he now can choose from Mom's Best Naturals' Honey Nut Toasty O's and Sweetened Wheat-fuls. I was not only happy to see there wasn't any corn in the ingredient list, but I was also happy to notice there were only 4 ingredients listed total.

I wasn't able to tell a difference in taste between the regular brand (Mini-Wheats and Cheerios) versions, and Jackson likes them. So, win/win. Check it out.

The Worst Transition EVER

2011-07-05T16:10:00.000-04:00

We’ve been looking for that perfect house for a while now,one that has enough room for us and our children with some to spare so we canpractice hospitality, one with a large kitchen and well laid out rooms,somewhere we can permanently settle and raise our family. Well, we found it,everything I mentioned above and more, but the timing of that decision hasproven to be the worst transition to date.

Our landlord decided he wanted to sell the house we wererenting, but closing on the new house kept getting pushed back. We weresuddenly faced with moving out before we had somewhere to move to. Big problemfor a family of five, but even worse for one with an autistic child. The onlysolution we could figure out was to stay with family until we were able to closeon the new house.

Jackson has been doing better with transitions lately, usually only struggling with the ones any other five year old would struggle with. You know, like leaving the playground to go home get a bath and go to bed. I was hopeful we might get through this afterall.

So, step one was to get packed. Jackson took it relativelywell until the late nights and days without naps took their toll on his alreadystruggling system. He eventually broke down into a mess, sitting in his roomwhere his bed used to be crying over and over, “but I don’t want a new house, Iwant to keep this one.” I couldn’t help but sit and cry with him.

Step two was to store everything and take only the bareminimum. Trying to figure out what we absolutely had to have proved moredifficult for me than for Jackson. As long as he has his blanket, pillow petand some action figures, he’s good. I found a lesson in his simplicity, butI’ll share that one another time.

Step three settling into my parents’ three bedroom, twobathroom house where my brother and his wife are also staying. Yes, that meansnine people total in a little farm-house and all five of us sleeping in oneroom. I have to say that while it is a struggle to get children who are used tobeing tucked in and left to go to sleep on their own to go to sleep together in one roomhas been a challenge, I have actually enjoyed the closeness. I’ve thoughtseveral times that there are families all over the world who do this everynight. I can handle it for a couple of weeks, right? While spending time withmy parents has been nice and having a farm to roam has been nice as well, I’mseeing more struggle in Jackson. More whining, more fussing, more stemming andlashing out behavior. Less eye contact, less social interaction. More gaming, playingaction figures all by himself, more talking back and angry expressions of hisfeelings. I wish I could say I have a plan all figured out for all thisbehavior, but this transition is hard on me and the rest of us as well. We’reall more testy and we’re all finding it harder to get along. His younger sisteris REALLY struggling with the whole thing. She’s asked to go home a couple oftimes, and I’ve found myself struggling to know what to say because in thecraziness of those moments, I do, too. I think my struggle makes his that much more difficult.

I keep thinking to myself, this too shall pass. It will allsoon be a funny story we tell everyone who sees our new house, but that onlybrings a little comfort in the throws of a five year old’s defiance or a twoyear old’s testy screams. I can say, though, that once we do get settled intoour new home and past all the transition woes, I will be that much morethankful for the rhythm and routine of a peaceful home we can call our own.

Daily Struggle

2011-07-05T15:34:00.000-04:00

I’ve often joked with friends and family that I excel incrisis, but I struggle with every day living. In the case of severe crisis, Ileap into action intuitively knowing what needs to be done, immediatelyforgetting grudges or insecurities that might apply in my relationships withthose affected. However, in the minor everyday crisis like melt downs and foodallergies, I have a tendency to melt down, too.

I’ve recently read a book with many accounts of sufferingand struggle that produced more faith and strength in those afflicted. Icouldn’t help but think to myself, “If this is suffering, then I have neversuffered, not one moment of my life.” As I finished the 475 pages of this life-changingbook, I was reminded of the constant struggle I and my family face withJackson’s food allergies and autism.

We don’t come to one meal without thinking, “what aboutJackson?” We don’t face any Holiday, family gathering or crowded adventurewithout thinking, “what about Jackson?” We’ve laid out plans for emotional crisesand forged recipes that keep well and satisfy his pallet for those unexpectedfood emergencies. I have exit strategies for most of the public places wefrequent, and I can read a food label like a pro. Even those little things likeKindergarten are approached with IEP’s, service and meal plans, therapyschedules and private versus public options. After thinking about all the wayshis condition affects our lives, my ‘joke’ came to mind. Maybe the God of theuniverse agrees with my silly statement and has sent daily struggles ratherthan cataclysmic suffering to shape me, to make me more like His Son.

When the one person you can’t stand but still can’t get awayfrom suffers the loss of a spouse, parent or child (or some other catastrophicevent), and somehow all the issues you had with them melt away and you feel ledto intervene and help in some way. Well, that’s one thing. When the child Godhas entrusted to your care freaks out because he’s out of his element andstruggling with the changes in his life, and somehow you can’t muster even theslightest amount of compassion because you don’t think you can take anymorewhining or fussing. That’s another.

I’ve been humbled by this minor little revelation, and feelthe need to surrender this part of my life to the God who made me and my sweetJackson. He knows us both better than we know ourselves, and only He knows howto best go about this mother/son relationship. I want so much to accept thestruggle and pass this test so I can someday say I’m good in crisis and betterat the every day struggle than I ever thought possible.

Oh, how I long to hear….

“Well done, good and faithful servant. You have beenfaithful over a few things; I will make you ruler over many. Enter into the joyof the Lord.” Matt 25:23

Homemade Poptarts

2011-05-02T12:00:00.001-04:00

I've gone through a burn out period in my cooking life. Between therapy appointments, preschool, homeschooling my older son, baseball and a rambunctious two year old, cooking has become more of a burden than a delight. For the most part, I've only been cooking/baking the minimum to get me by. However, I ran across a recipe that made me curious again, homemade poptarts. It came from Chickens in the Road, one of my favorite blogs to follow, and I couldn't help but want to try it and see what happened. It was most definitely a success, and Jackson is looking forward to eating them at school when the rest of his class is eating toaster pastries.

Here's the original recipe, Homemade Poptarts.

I used pre-made pie crust (for time's sake), and I added a little more vanilla and cinnamon to the filling. Next time I'll make some apple jelly or use some strawberry jam. Definitely a recipe worth keeping.

After everyone had enjoyed their own poptart, I froze the leftovers and plan to use them for quick morning breakfasts and morning school snacks.

Granny's Pound Cake

2011-02-16T13:23:00.001-05:00

This is my Dad's and my son Jackson's favorite cake. It's my Granny's pound cake recipe from my Memaw's cook book.

3 sticks butter, softened
2 1/2 cups white sugar
8 eggs (corn-free, free-range)
1 tsp cream of tartar
3 cups flour
1 tsp vanilla extract

Preheat oven to 300 degrees. Cream butter and sugar well, add whole beaten eggs, flavoring and cream of tartar. Beat until smooth. Add flour all at once. Beat for 10 minutes (medium speed). Pour into greased, floured tube or bundt pan and bake for 1 hour and 45 minutes.

Ok. So, this is the recipe pretty much as written in my Memaw's cook book. I add another teaspoon of vanilla and some milk, about a half cup to make the batter more wet and pourable. I add the flour in a 1/2 a cup at a time, and I always have to cook it longer. But, let me tell you, it is the BEST pound cake of any I've tasted. Of course, I might be swayed by nostalgia and family taste, but I still think it's the best.

Jackson wanted it for his treat to take to his class on his birthday. He likes it better than cupcakes or iced cookies, and I really enjoy the fact that it's an old family recipe.

You can sift powdered sugar over the top or make a drizzle icing.

This is my version of the drizzle icing, and I usually just cover the cake in it.

Melt a half a stick of butter. Add it to the bowl of a stand mixer (you can mix this by hand, but it won't quite be as smooth as with a mixer) and add a teaspoon of vanilla extract (corn-free). Pour in confectioner's sugar (corn-free) a half a cup at a time (up to about 2 cups) and beat until the mixture becomes kind of like a dough. Add a couple tablespoons of hot water at a time, mixing until you get the desired consistency. Drizzle over the cooled pound cake (or cover the whole thing like I do). If you want it to be more transparent, then use more water. I like it thick like cinnamon roll icing. I sprinkled all natural, corn-free sprinkles over the top so it at least looked like it was intended for a celebration.

I made this yesterday, and between his class at school and my family, it was gone by lunch today.

Chili

2011-01-07T14:04:00.000-05:00

When cold weather sets in, I start craving those hot comfort foods that warm you up from your toes. Things like chicken and dumplings, chicken pot pie and chili. I've found that there are as many different varieties of chili as there are families, but if you're looking for a recipe that has been used for years and proven yummy, this is it.

Slow Cooker Chili

1lb Ground Beef
1 15 oz Can of Tomato Sauce
1 14 oz Can Diced tomatoes
1 15 oz Can Kidney Beans
1 15 oz Can Pinto Beans
1 large onion, finely chopped
1-2 cloves garlic, minced
1/8 tsp Cayenne
1 tsp white sugar
1/2 tsp dried oregano
1/2 tsp ground black pepper
1 tsp salt
1 1/2 tsp ground cumin
1/4 cup Chili powder

Brown the ground beef, drain, and saute together with the onions until the onions are translucent. Add garlic and saute until fragrant. Add all ingredients to crock pot, turn on high for 4-5 hours or low for 6-8 hours. The longer it simmers the better it is.

I use my dutch oven for this, too. Brown the meat, saute the onions and garlic, add the ingredients and leave it to simmer for a few hours. All in one pot. That's nice for clean up, but it's also nice to throw it in the crock pot and let it cook without having to worry about being near it to make sure it doesn't burn or something.

I don't like to use store bought canned stuff if I can help it, but this is one of those things unless you canned it all yourself before hand, it would take all day to prepare the sauce, tomatoes and beans. So, I just buy organic canned goods. Check the label if you've got allergies. Kidney beans are hard to find without corn syrup or some other type of corn (i.e. dextrose, starch etc.). I've used red beans as a substitute successfully.

Now, the picture above has my homemade corn bread in the background. Obviously not an option for my little corn-allergic guy. Back to Nature has a saltine cracker that is corn free. I buy them at Kroger in their health food section or at Publix on the cookie/cracker isle in the greenwise section.

Also, when you're in a pinch and can't find the organic brands, the Pepperidge Farm Goldfish Saltine variety are corn-free. I buy them at Kroger. Kid's get a kick out of fish shaped crackers in their chili, too. Jackson usually just picks through and eats the crackers and meat.

Freeze Your Own Pizza

2010-12-14T19:55:00.001-05:00

Jackson LOVES pizza. When I was first trying to figure out his allergy issues, I learned out how to make yummy safe pizza, but we kept finding ourselves at birthday parties, family gatherings and other times where we needed safe pizza but I didn't have 2 hours to make it. Then I learned the secret to making and freezing your own pizza at home. Putting the cheese on first.

First the dough.

3 3/4 cups all-purpose flour
1 1/2 tsp salt
1 1/3 cups warm water
1 tbsp sugar
1 packet yeast (2 1/4 tsp if you buy the jars)
3 tbsp olive oil
1-3 tsp garlic juice

Combine the flour and salt. Make a well and add the water, sugar and yeast. Once the yeast dissolves, add the olive oil and garlic juice. Mix until dough forms, then knead until smooth and elastic. If it's sticky, add more flour. If it's dry, add more water. Brush with olive oil, cover in a bowl and allow it to rise for about an hour, until doubled in size. This recipe makes about 2 pounds of dough. I can usually get 5 thin personal sized crusts.

I know that a couple of major chains use garlic juice in their crust recipes. So, that might sound weird, but it didn't come out of nowhere. I put 3 tsp in, but you can use more, less or omit altogether depending on your tastes.

Also, most major delivery chains roll their dough in a corn meal mixture. This does add flavor and makes the crust brown better. I do it for the grown ups since we put things like mushrooms, bell peppers and onions on ours. If you don't have a corn allergy, it does make a difference, so you will probably want to use it.

After the dough has risen, separate it into little dough balls, in my case 5. Roll the dough out with a rolling pin first, then place the crusts onto oiled paper plates. I use olive oil. Since you're freezing, you want something you can freeze it on and remove. If you oil them just right (not too much), the pizza shouldn't stick, but even if it does, you can peel the paper plate off the bottom. You just need something to hold the shape while it freezes. If you want to freeze a full size pizza, you can buy those aluminum pizza pans. Just remove it before you cook it. Those things and frozen pizza together make for yucky crust.

Brush your crusts with butter or olive oil, something to help with the browning process later.

Sprinkle a fairly thick layer of cheese. Then spoon your tomato sauce over the cheese. Spread carefully trying not to let the tomato sauce touch the bottom crust. Don't be super picky, but try to keep the cheese on the bottom and the sauce on top. I sprinkle a little more cheese on top, some basil, and then add our toppings. Since these are usually personal pizzas for Jackson, I don't put veggies on top. Usually hand made sausage we get from a local meat market, ham and/or hot dogs cut like pepperoni (sounds weird, but he LOVES it). I don't know how veggies will freeze in a home freezer, but have fun with it. You never know what they'll eat.

When I've got the pizzas topped and ready to freeze, I try to create a level spot in my chest freezer to lay them out to freeze initially. Once they start to get hard, cover them with plastic wrap. When they've been in there for several hours, remove the paper plates and wrap individually with plastic wrap. I've used round cake boards dusted with a little bit of flour on the bottom of the pizza, and if you've got a stuffed freezer (like me), the boards really help keep the pizza from getting broken.

When you're ready for some pizza:

Preheat your oven to 500 degrees. Unwrap your pizza, brush the outside crust with melted butter or olive oil, place on a pizza stone or right on the oven rack. Cook for about 10 minutes or until the crust is golden brown. Keep in mind, you're not going to get the same golden brown they get from a gigantic pizza oven or brushing with oil, egg and rolling in corn meal, but it will be tasty. That's what really matters.

Holiday Hot Chocolate Bar

2010-12-12T15:43:00.000-05:00

There's nothing quite like homemade hot chocolate.

Last Christmas I prepared a hot chocolate bar for my family's Christmas gathering. It was a big hit, and not really more difficult than bringing any other Holiday dish. The chocolate was the easy part. The hard part comes from making the fixin's. It has to be homemade for Jackson to be able to have it, and hot chocolate isn't really special without at least marshmallows and whipped cream.

The photo above is mine from another homemade hot chocolate day. I wish I had photos of the Holiday spread, but they seem to be lost in my digital back up folder. Maybe you can just picture it. I used a crock pot, plugged in on the kitchen counter bar. Laid out the fixin's on Holiday platters with mugs and spoons near the crock pot. It was 'make-your-own' fantastic.

Here's a photo from Food Network that might help you see what I'm talking about.

First the chocolate:

2 cups whole milk
2 cups whipping cream
1 pkg milk chocolate chips
2 Tbsp sugar
1 tsp vanilla extract (you want to use a really good kind like Rodelle)

In a large sauce pan, combine the milk, cream and sugar. Heat until very warm but don't boil. Add chocolate chips and stir until melted. Pour mixture into a crock pot and add vanilla. Turn the crock pot on high. This serves about 4 people. So, you might need to double or triple it depending on how many people will be at your gathering. Just make sure you have a big enough crock pot or you can keep another one cooking in the background. You'll also need a ladle to scoop it out into mugs.

The Marshmallows:

Alton Brown's recipe is the best I've found for marshmallows, and the easiest really. It is already egg free, but of course it has to be altered to be corn-free. So, here's my adapted version.

3 pkg unflavored gelatin
1 cup ice cold water, divided
1 1/2 cup granulated sugar
1 cup sugar syrup
(You can use Lyle's golden syrup or make your own, 2 C sugar, 3/4 C water, 1/4 tsp cream of tartar, dash of salt. Bring to boil, simmer with cover on for 3 minutes, cook uncovered until it reaches soft ball stage, around 235 degrees.)
1/4 tsp salt
1 tsp vanilla extract
Corn-free powdered sugar for dusting (365 Organic found at Whole Foods or Trader Joe's store brand)

Place the gelatin into the bowl of a stand mixer along with 1/2 cup of the water. Have the whisk attachment standing by.

In a small sauce pan combine the remaining 1/2 cup water, granulated sugar, sugar syrup and salt. Place over medium high heat, cover and allow to cook for 3 to 4 minutes. Uncover, clip a candy thermometer onto the side of the pan and continue to cook until the mixture reaches 240 degrees F, approximately 7 to 8 minutes. Once the mixture reaches this temperature, immediately remove from the heat.

Turn the mixer on low speed and, while running, slowly pour the sugar mixture down the side of the bowl into the gelatin mixture. Once you have added all of the syrup, increase the speed to high. Continue to whip until the mixture becomes very thick and is lukewarm, approximately 12 to 15 minutes. Add the vanilla during the last minute of whipping. While the mixture is whipping prepare the pan.

Grease a 13 by 9-inch metal baking pan. Add some powdered sugar and move around to completely coat the bottom and sides of the pan.

When ready, pour the mixture into the prepared pan, using a lightly oiled spatula for spreading evenly into the pan. Dust the top with enough powdered sugar to lightly cover. Allow the marshmallows to sit uncovered for at least 4 hours and up to overnight.

Turn the marshmallows out onto a cutting board and cut into 1-inch squares using a pizza wheel dusted with confectioners' sugar. I like to use small cookie cutters to cut them into fun shapes. Once cut, lightly dust all sides of each marshmallow with the remaining mixture, using additional if necessary. Store in an airtight container for up to 3 weeks.

And the Whipped Cream:

1 pint heavy whipping cream
6 Tbsp sugar
2 tsp vanilla

Pour the cream into the bowl and whip with a mixer until it begins to thicken. Add sugar one tbsp at a time then add vanilla. Mix until combined. Be careful not to overmix the cream or else will start to resemble butter rather than whipped cream. Make sure you refrigerate it until you're ready to use it. I beat the cream at my mother's house when we were ready to enjoy the chocolate.

I also had cinnamon in a little dish with a serving teaspoon (you could use cinnamon sticks, too), peppermints and homemade caramels (something I love in hot chocolate). The sky's the limit, though, and it makes for something fun and personal.

Easy Apple Pie Filling

2010-12-12T14:57:00.001-05:00

Apple pie is one of those comfort foods that never loses it's appeal, at least for me. I could eat it year round, but there is something super yummy about apple pie during the Holidays. This is my recipe for apple pie filling. I think Julia Child's crust recipe is the best, but I've found that Pillsbury's refrigerated pie crusts (come in the red box, rolled into two tubes) are corn free. So, when I'm in a pinch I just use those.

Apple Pie Filling

3 Tbsp unsalted butter
1 tsp lemon juice
3/4 tsp cinnamon
1/4 cup granulated sugar
1/4 cup light brown sugar
5 apples (I use Gala. You want a sweet apple, but not a really soft one since you cook the filling before baking the pie. You could even buy the pre-sliced sweet apples and cut the peel off.)

Peel and slice your apples. I use a corer/slicer, then cut those slices in half. In a large saute pan (large enough to fit all those apples), melt the butter. Add the lemon juice, cinnamon and sugars. Stir to combine. Add apples and cook on medium/low heat until soft, about 10 minutes. Remove from heat and allow to cool some.

While the apples are cooling, preheat your oven to 425 degrees and prepare a 9 inch pie dish for baking. If you want to make your own crust, check out Julia's recipe. Lay one dough roll in the bottom of your pie dish. Pour apples into the dish, and add another dough roll on top. Pinch the dough edges together. Cut the excess off and use the tines of a fork to seal the edges. Cut slits in the center to vent. Bake for about 45 minutes or until the crust is golden brown. Wrap foil around the edges (not the whole pie) to prevent over browning. (The center always takes longer to brown than the edges.) I used to add the foil after the edges got brown, but I think it's actually easier to put the foil on first and leave it for about 25-30 minutes because you're working with a cool dish rather than a piping hot one.

Newest Food Discovery: Yellow Cake Mix

2010-11-23T13:19:00.000-05:00

Making a cake without eggs is nearly impossible. There is really no substitute for the richness and rise the egg provides. Baking a cake from scratch using my parents corn-free eggs was pretty much my only option, but when I'm pressed for time or just don't feel like pulling everything out, a mix is so nice. I have looked for an egg and corn free cake mix only to be disappointed time and time again. I tried using corn free mixes and substituting the egg and ended up with an unrisen dense biscuit looking cake. I had success using an egg substitute using the Betty Crocker Gluten Free cake mix, but the taste was very different. Only Jackson and I would eat it.

I never stop looking, though. When I shop, I often will look for interesting products and check the labels to see if I can find something new. As I was picking up some baking needs, I noticed this adorable pink box. Right on the front it said, egg free. I picked it up looking to see if it was corn free, and it was. I looked at the directions and saw that it didn't even call for egg. So, I picked it up and decided I needed to try this mix to see if it was worth keeping around.

Cherrybrook Kitchen Yellow Cake Mix

I used the mix to make cupcakes for a Thanksgiving thing at Jackson's school, and he gobbled them up! They definitely didn't taste the same as the Duncan Hines or Betty Crocker cake mixes, but they rose well, browned well and tasted pretty good considering they contained no egg. This is definitely a mix I will be keeping on hand for those 'oh no, that's tomorrow?' situations.

Mommy Meltdown

2010-11-07T17:00:00.000-05:00

When you look up meltdown in the dictionary, at least the one I have on hand, it is listed as a noun referring to what happens in a nuclear power plant when the fuel in a reactor melts the core and the shielding.

In my house, however, it is used to refer to the irrational, unpredictable and often uncontrollable reaction Jackson has to changes in schedule or expectations (transitioning between activities mostly), and objects or people that scare him (the most recent being stuffed owls at the nature center). Any parent of a child on the spectrum knows exactly what I'm talking about.

There's one other type of meltdown in our house, though. One I don't like to talk about or admit to. That would be the Mommy Meltdown. This is my irrational, unpredictable and often uncontrollable reaction to the events of the day or my expectations for the future. It occurs most often in the quiet of the night when the house is still and I should be sleeping like everyone else. It is often in this stillness that I struggle to calm my mind and my heart. There might be one particular thing that sets me off, but more often than not it is a combination of things resulting in me feeling overwhelmed and inadequate. That's when the tears seem to explode out of me, and I put the Holy Spirit to work translating all my sobs into prayers. If I were to attempt a translation, it would usually be that I can't. I just can't do it. I'm not strong enough. I'm not organized enough. I'm not patient enough. I get frustrated and overwhelmed too easily. Jackson isn't getting what he needs. My other children aren't getting what they need. I'm not enough, and I can't be the mother I want to be.

Now, if I were able to articulate how those prayers usually get answered, I would say that God agrees with me. I'm not strong, organized or patient. I am easily frustrated and overwhelmed. I'm not enough, and I can't give my children everything they need. Now if God just left it there, I think this post would be basically pointless. But, here's the thing. I'm not enough, but God is. He's enough for me and my kids, and he never gets tired, frustrated or overwhelmed. He is strong, organized and infinitely patient, and He offers grace and help for the asking.

There's a transaction that takes place in this meltdown process, a transaction between me and God. I trade my frustration for His peace, my weakness for His strength. I give Him my mess, and He gives me back a blessing. I tell Him I can't keep going, and He tells me it's ok, He'll just carry me for a while.

I wish I could say then I fall asleep and wake up to perfection, but I think that would be missing the point. I've learned a powerful lesson through these mommy meltdowns. I'm not perfect, and I don't have to be. God's love for me and pleasure in me has nothing to do with my performance. He wants to help me do everything He has given me to do, and I don't have to do one thing alone. He's all I need.

It would be nice to learn this lesson well enough never to meltdown again, but I guess it's going to be a work in progress. I'll have to glean a little wisdom from Jackson and his meltdowns. Growth is sometimes slow but always happening. With each day, therapy and incident will come new levels of tolerance and understanding. We'll just have to grow together.

Natural Candy

2010-10-29T15:06:00.001-04:00

We ran into a serious problem this year for Halloween. The store we were counting on buying our candy from stopped carrying the candies Jackson loves. He'll be fine with Mommy's special homemade treats this year, but I began my internet search so we're prepared for other Holidays and birthdays.

One of our favorite candy products was Yummy Earth Organic Lollypops (formerly sold at Publix). We also like Surf Sweets, and they make a whole line of corn-free candy ranging from gummy bears to jelly beans. The big problem with online organic shopping is that most of the time you have to buy in bulk. Jackson doesn't eat enough candy on his own to warrant buying in bulk. So, that doesn't really work for us. I found a site recently that has a large selection of all our favorite products and sells our favorites in small quantities. My discovery came too late to order and get it here for this year's trick-or-treating, but we'll be ready for Christmas.

The Natural Candy Store even has a section dedicated to corn-syrup free candy. I still check the labels, but this makes it easier to find exactly what I'm looking for.

So, if you're in the market for some natural treats for your little ones, check out the Natural Candy Store online.

Auto Reflections

2010-10-27T15:33:00.000-04:00

My schedule stays pretty full. Between pre-school for Jackson, homeschool/class for my older son, three therapies a week, all the shopping and cooking, caring for my 1 year old, sports, church, etc. Things get pretty hectic. There are many things I don't get to do much anymore like watch tv, go to the theater, even going out to dinner has become a near impossible feat with Jackson's allergies and our schedule, but there is one thing I miss more than any other. That is the ability to choose time to spend on spiritual things as I saw fit.

I accepted a challenge in college to read the Bible through every month, and thought I was really doing a great thing. It was great, but I soon had to alter that plan to every three months due to the other studying I had to do. Still every three months was pretty good. A lot of my reading was done on auto pilot, especially through the books that don't read so easy (you know the ones I'm talking about). I can look back and see where I was going through the motions but not really gleaning what I should. Still the Bible actually became one of my favorite books to read, and often was hard to put down.

That challenge had to be altered again after I got married and was now working full time and caring for my new marriage, but during my first pregnancy, when my husband was on call or working over the weekend, I began reading in big chunks again. I would read out loud so the little guy could hear. I have such wonderful memories of what God showed me during that time.

Fast forward to the day my oldest son was born, and those days of reading my Bible, listening to sermons, playing my piano and singing in worship, even just getting to church easily, those days were now gone. I was not prepared for the shift. I really struggled with depression and emotional craziness. Some due to the baby blues women often get after giving birth, but I believe some of it was going from feasting to famine. I was going through withdrawals on top of no sleep, hormone insanity and all the new demands. I remember a deep longing to return to my Bible and thinking, "if I can just get him sleeping through the night..." or "if I could just get him weaned...." I kept thinking those opportunities would just happen again. Well, after two more kids and an autism diagnosis, that day still hasn't come. What I've had to do is make some trades and some interesting improvisations.

I've given up what little bit of tv watching I had left. I've stopped obsessing during the kids' nap time over cleaning or cooking, and began reading my Bible or other spiritual books or listening to a podcasted sermon during that time. Many times I've read myself to sleep, something I would have been appalled to admit before kids, but now I see it as God granting me much needed rest, almost like He's telling His little girl a story and lulling her off to sleep.

My favorite adaptation is what I call auto reflections. Jackson has two half hour speech appointments a week. When we first talked about the schedule, I was a little irritated that these were the only spots she had open for him. I wanted her to block the two segments into a 1 hour slot so I could do something with it, but it was this or nothing. Now, what am I going to do with 30 minutes? There isn't any time for shopping or errands. All I really can do is sit in the parking lot and wait. Then the Holy Spirit opened up my mind and heart to using that time to read, reflect and pray. I've found I can get a lot more done in those 30 minutes than I ever thought possible, and while Jackson gets speech therapy, I'm getting spiritual therapy.

So, while I sat outside the school today getting my spiritual therapy, I decided to post this discovery. I've wasted so much time stressing over not getting enough time with God. Knowing that I needed Him to help me with my often short fuse and anxious, worried heart, and I just kept stressing and thinking there was never going to be enough time. I needed to alter my expectations and open up my mind and heart to a different way of spiritual life.

The longer I'm at this, the more I think it's not about setting aside a certain amount of time or reading a certain amount of pages or getting to that special emotional place in prayer. It's more about desiring God and being open to the time slots He gives you. God doesn't care how much WE do, but how much we let HIM do. Opening our hearts to his work, asking for His filling and help, and making ourselves available when He makes time for us, this is how we keep growing during these hectic seasons of life.

Grandma's Farm Country Cookbook: Tips About Cakes

2010-10-16T17:22:00.000-04:00

I love this little cookbook because of all the useful tips and facts inside. The articles range from how to make the perfect custard and how to choose a refrigerator (from 1930), and the recipes are simple and old fashioned, some dating back to the 1800's.

The section on cakes gives a foundation yellow cake recipe and then gives 8 ways to take that recipe and make different cake. It also gives some great tips and facts in each section that girls like me might never have known otherwise.

Things like....

From the cake section:

Dredging nuts or fruit in part of the required flour will keep them from going to the bottom of the batter.

When adding dry ingredients alternately with the liquid, begin and end with the dry ingredients in order to keep the fat from separating from the sugar and egg.

Egg whites beat up to better advantage, both as to time and volume, when the eggs are at room temperature.

This is a neat resource to have in the kitchen, and you can get a used copy from Amazon for less than it costs to ship. Check it out.

Grandma's Farm Country Cookbook

Seeing Autism

2010-10-13T19:57:00.000-04:00

There are plenty of days when I don't even notice Jackson's differences. His autism seems to just disappear into the chaos that is our lives. We go about our weekly routine of school and therapy plus sports and church often without a hitch. We have grown so accustomed to it that life is 'normal' even with the occasional hiccup, and we're happy. Inevitably, though, the routine gets changed. A birthday party here, a family get together there, and suddenly there it is, autism in all it's glory.

Sometimes it's manageable, sometimes it's not. Sometimes no one notices, other times it is quite obvious to everyone present. Many times seeing autism in my child brings up the pain and struggle I felt the day I heard the doctor give his diagnosis. But, in the pain of many of these moments I've been taken back by the reaction of family and friends. I have been nearly brought to tears over and over again at their support, acceptance and even their attempts to understand and help.

I am so blessed to be able to say that in our family and circle of friends, when I see autism, I also see love, hope and understanding.

Oh, that it were that way for every child with this diagnosis.

Natural Sodas

2010-10-11T19:54:00.000-04:00

Jackson drinks water, 100% juices and milk. I recently gave him some Juicy Juice sparkling juice which contains no added sugar, but he wouldn't drink it. I also tried another natural sprite type drink, but the face he made when he tried it let me know that I would not be buying any more.

I'm not trying to make him a soda drinker, but I did want to let him try something new. I've often wondered what we would do when he got older and wanted to drink things like everyone else. Well, that's not a problem, at least not in the near future.

Jackson can't really articulate the reason he doesn't like the sparkling juice or natural sodas, but I'm guessing since he's used to drinking unsweetened, non-carbonated drinks, the super sweetness and the fizz was too much for his sensitive palate. I tried them, too, and I noticed a different quality to the natural sodas versus the corn syrup kind. The biggest difference was that it wasn't as tongue numbingly sweet.

Some day Jackson might want to drink soda like his friends, especially at birthday parties and family gatherings, but if he would rather stick to unsweetened, non-carbonated drinks for the rest of his life, that will be fine with me.

Make Your Own Baking Powder

2010-10-09T11:11:00.001-04:00

Since my camera has taken it's last picture, I won't be posting new recipes until I get a new one. In the mean time, I'll share things that have helped me in creating my own allergy free recipes.

One of the best things I figured out was making my own Baking Powder.

1 part Baking Soda (I used Bob's Red Mill)
1 part Potato Starch (or any other flavorless starch, corn starch is actually the best, but Jackson's corn allergy doesn't allow for that)
2 parts Cream of Tartar

After mixing, store in an air tight container. I usually mix it using a Tbsp measure. You want to use it before it loses it's potency, usually about 3-4 months. I have no problem with all the baking I do, but you don't want to mix up so much that you can't use it up before it goes bad.

After mixing well, you can use it exactly like you would the store bought kind.

Even if Jackson were to outgrow his allergy, I will likely continue using my own baking powder. It makes a difference in the rise and texture of baked goods, and I like knowing exactly what's in my food.

My Favorite New Food Discovery

2010-09-17T19:15:00.000-04:00

When I take Jackson to therapy, I will often head down the street to the grocery store. It has an awesome organic/health food section that has many of the products I need to make Jackson's diet as varied and complete as possible. When I have a large block of time to kill, I will often walk the isles reading labels and checking out things I think he might like. One of my recent trips resulted in me finding a product that has really helped us out.

Jackson LOVES french fries. There are some restaurants we can buy fries from, but for the most part, I have to peel, cut and fry them myself. I have mastered the frying for freezing technique, but it's SO much work. Well, I found ALEXIA® Oven Crinkles. Completely organic and corn free. We liked them so much, I made my freezer nuggets and those fries tonight for dinner. Jackson was a very happy camper.

Sibling Therapy

2010-09-12T23:03:00.000-04:00

Jackson's developmental pediatrician told us that the best therapy he could ever have was his big brother. The doctor told us Jackson will learn more, grow more and do more because he has that kind of interaction daily. Then came his little sister, and she has more than doubled that one-of-a-kind sibling interaction. Every day they treat him the same, like a brother. They annoy, pick, play and love him like no other child ever will, and I am so very grateful for the siblings God gave my Jackson.

We don't know why Jackson has progressed so well in such a short time. We can attribute much of it, I'm sure, to 4-5 therapy sessions a week, pre-school and Sunday School with typically developing peers, all our prayer and hard work along with God's mercy, but I believe with all my heart that the love, acceptance and expectation of his brother and sister has done him more good than any therapy or school ever could.

God's plan is perfect even when we don't understand. All the good, all the bad, weaving it together for His purpose and our good. It's an amazing love He has for us, and when I think about what my other children have done for Jackson, I can't help but remember Proverbs 18:24, "There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother."

If the best therapy for Jackson is his big brother, then the best therapy for our spiritually disabled hearts is Jesus.

More Barbecue Please

2010-09-09T16:10:00.000-04:00

Late September, early October is the best time for barbecue, in my opinion. Of course, to my husband and oldest son, any time is a good time for barbecue. This however has been a particularly difficult thing for us to figure out corn-free. Then it happened. I discovered corn-free ketchup and worcestershire sauce.

Now, my husband is usually the one who handles the smoking of the butt (pork butt roast), and I'm not at liberty to divulge his rub mixture. I can, however, share the best barbecue sauce recipe we've found.

You can find the original here.

Neely's BBQ Sauce (plus my specifications for certain products)

2 cups Hunts or Heinz 100% Natural Ketchup (see picture above)
1 cup water
1/2 cup apple cider vinegar
5 tbsp light brown sugar
5 tbsp sugar
1/2 tbsp fresh ground black pepper
1/2 tbsp onion powder
1/2 tbsp ground mustard
1 tbsp lemon juice
1 tbsp Lea & Perrin's Reduced Sodium Worcestershire Sauce (see picture above)

Combine all ingredients in a medium saucepan. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer for about an hour, stirring frequently.

Super yummy with chicken or pork.

The Life of a Warrior Mother

2010-09-05T22:38:00.000-04:00

The term 'Warrior Mother' is used to refer to mothers of children with autism. I've always been reluctant to call myself that because of how high functioning Jackson is and how much he has improved with therapy. There are so many mothers we've met on our journey with Jackson's diagnosis who seem so much more worthy of that title, but I've recently felt more overwhelmed and exhausted than ever before. Even in the ordinary every day things I've felt the struggle, and in this daily battle, I can now say I feel like a warrior mother.

But, what is a warrior really? According to the dictionary a warrior is a brave or experienced fighter. In other places it is described as someone devoted to physical and mental discipline, always ready to stand and fight should they be called to do so. A warrior is someone with extensive training and ability. Our military puts it's recruits through difficult training and preparation in an effort to prepare them for battle. For when they're in a situation with only seconds to act, the military attempts to train them so they don't have to think about their actions, they can just respond with what they've been trained to do.

That type of training makes sense since most of what we do comes in the form of reaction rather than action. No mother decides to lose control and scream at her kids like a lunatic. In that moment she reacts to the frustration of the situation.

So, my definition of a warrior mother is a woman who is mentally, emotionally and spiritually disciplined, well trained, ready to fight for her children and react well in those moments she has little time to think about her actions.

That's a great definition, but what now? As a mom, where do I get my training? How do I discipline myself to react to the craziness around me in a way that would be appropriate and loving? This made me think about that old saying "garbage in, garbage out."

I was blessed/cursed with a perpetually curious nature. I want to know everything about everything, and I've found that the more I'm able to learn about something, the better equipped I am in dealing with it. So, the first aspect of a warrior mother would be in learning as much as she can about her child's condition from literature, teachers, therapists. Equipping herself with an arsenal of knowledge in how to deal with each situation.

Part of that learning should be spent in discovering and understanding your fears so you are better able to push through them. Every warrior can be described as brave and courageous. You don't have to be fearless, but you do have to be able to overcome your fears and do what you know you need to do.

Working hard to maintain your emotional strength is key. You can't take care of your child emotionally if you aren't whole yourself. This means finding those people you can vent and break down with, and many times trying to keep those feelings in check. It is often our feelings that defeat us. Everyone 'feels' like running away sometimes. Everyone 'feels' like they just can't take it any more. What you do with those feelings is what makes the difference between victory and defeat.

The most important training for the warrior mother is in her spirituality. So much of our physical, emotional and mental health depend on our spiritual health. For me this means studying scripture, seeking to really know Christ and follow His example with my children. I don't believe real change is possible without Him, and I strive every day to open my heart up to His healing touch. I have to make a conscious choice every day to believe He can make a better woman out of me, a better mother and warrior for my children.

A warrior mother faces each battle, no matter how small, with courage and resilience. She chooses not to let her child's diagnosis defeat her or her child. She chooses to fight every day believing progress is possible.

We can fight this, and we will succeed.

Don't Quit

2010-08-29T16:16:00.003-04:00

Don't Quit

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,

When the road you're trudging seems all up hill,

When the funds are low and the debts are high,

And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,

When care is pressing you down a bit,

Rest, if you must — but don't you quit!

Life is queer with it's twists and turns,

As every one of us sometimes learns,

And many a failure turns about

When he might have won had he stuck it out;

Don't give up, though the pace seems slow —

You may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than

It seems to a faint and faltering man.

Often the struggler has given up

When he might have captured the victor's cup,

And he learned too late, when the night slipped down,

How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out —

The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,

And you can never tel how close you are.

It may be near when it seems afar;

So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit —

It's when things seem worst that you mustn't quit.

A little poem from the Railroad Trainman.

My mind often wanders to all the things I hope I am able to teach my children before they leave my care. The list is indeed daunting, but apart from knowing and loving God, I would have to say sticking it out has to be at the top of the list.

I hope to teach all of my children not to quit, but I have to say I feel a stronger responsibility to impart this lesson to my Jackson (with PDD). My mother's heart can't help but wonder what kind of life awaits him. How will he grow and develop? Will he catch up with his peers? How hard will he have to struggle to get what might come naturally for his brother and sister? Will he play sports, make friends and go to college? Will he marry and have children of his own? Will he find and fulfill his calling or at least be gainfully employed? Will he ever leave my home?

Thinking on these things often makes that daunting list grow even longer, but when I'm still and quiet enough to listen I can hear a sweet, soft voice speaking peace to my troubled mother's heart.

"He belongs to Me, I love him even more than you do, and I have a plan"

While more often than not, I have argued with this voice, feeling that there is no one who can love and care for Jackson like me. After all, I am his mother. However, more and more I find myself better able to trust it really is true. God doesn't make mistakes, and He created Jackson exactly the way he is for a purpose.

If I can stick things out and never give up on him or what I've been called to do, I will be the mother Jackson needs. And, if I can help Jackson learn to stick things out and never quit, he'll be what God wants him to be. Whatever the answers are to my questions, he's going to be ok because God really does love him more than I do, and He really does have a plan.

Pot Roasting Like Granny

2010-08-28T23:38:00.000-04:00

There are probably as many different variations on pot roast as there are grandmothers that cook. I don't remember all the details about my Granny's pot roast, but I do remember that it was my favorite meal to eat at her house. Melt in your mouth roast with juicy carrots, yummy potatoes and rice with gravy. My mom actually made a pretty good roast, too, but I'm almost positive she learned it from my Granny.

(Remember whatever the recipe, the key to a good roast is a good cut of meat. You want lots of marbling if you're going to cook it for a long time.)

Here's my attempt at putting her roast into a recipe.

Salt and pepper the roast. Coat in flour. Heat a dutch oven with about two to three tbsp of oil. Sear all sides. Remove the roast and let it rest while you prepare the veggies. To your hot oil, add a tsp or two of minced garlic and a medium chopped onion. Cook until fragrant. Sprinkle in a little rosemary and thyme, about a 1/4 to 1/2 tsp. Add a couple of cups of beef stock and a couple Tbsp worcestershire sauce (Lea and Perrin's Reduced Sodium Worcestershire sauce is corn free). Add half a small can of tomato sauce or a couple Tbsp diced tomatoes (to tenderize the meat). Add chopped carrots and potatoes. Cover and bake on 350 for 2-3 hours or until tender. Then she would make gravy from the pot drippings and serve it over rice.

My memaw started 'cheating' with her gravy and making it with cream of mushroom soup (the Campbell's kind), and I think it tasted better that way. So, I combined all that, give or take a few things, to my crock pot recipe.

How I do it.

If I have time, I sear the roast like she did. Let it rest while I saute the onions and garlic, too. I don't use the rosemary, thyme or the beef stock. I add a can of Health Valley Cream of Mushroom Soup (corn free, uncondensed, organic), the worcestershire sauce (Lea and Perrin's Reduced Sodium), tomato sauce, carrots and potatoes. Stick it in my crock pot and let it cook all day. I still cook rice to go with it, and (since I'm too lazy to make a good gravy) I just use the 'soup' it makes as a 'pot liquor' as they would call it in the old south. It tastes enough like hers to take me back in time, but I've made it mine, too.

Roasting a Chicken from the Freezer

2010-08-26T13:53:00.000-04:00

My family really enjoys meals like this. Slow roasted, moist and yummy chicken with veggies is a crowd pleaser in our house any night. The only thing is it takes so much time and energy, it is usually reserved for days I have plenty of time. Well, I've been trying to figure out ways to use my free days to make more complicated meals work for busier days, and decided to try preparing the chicken and freeze it to see if it would work out. It turned out great!

You'll need

1 turkey size oven bag
kitchen twine
metal roasting pan

1 whole roasting chicken
1 bag whole golden or ruby gold potatoes (small enough you won't have to cut them, helps them freeze better)
1 bag baby cut carrots
1 medium onion, cut into large chunks
1 head garlic
1 lemon
1 bunch fresh thyme
about a stick of butter
1 Tbsp or so of olive oil
1/2-1 cup chicken stock
Salt and pepper to taste

Remove and discard organs. Rinse and dry chicken. Generously salt and pepper the cavity of the chicken. Set aside about 5 sprigs of thyme and insert the rest inside the chicken. Cut lemon in half and place one half inside chicken. Cut head of garlic in half horizontally (skin on and all, you want to open up the cloves but not cut it small enough to burn) and place one half inside chicken. Melt a couple tbsp of butter and brush the outside of the chicken. Salt and pepper the outside of the chicken to your taste. Tie the legs of the chicken with kitchen twine.

Put the onions, carrots and potatoes into the oven bag. Strip the thyme from the sprigs you set aside. Coat the veggies in olive oil. Sprinkle veggies with salt, pepper and thyme. Place the oven bag with the veggies into a roasting pan with the open end facing one of the short sides of the pan. Fold up ends of bag opening. Put the chicken in on top of the veggies. Tuck the wings under the breast. Depending on the size of your chicken and your roasting pan, put enough stock to barely cover veggies.

Tie up the oven bag and set everything in the freezer. Once it's frozen you can reclaim your roasting pan, but you'll need it to hold the shape. For something this big, I use my chest freezer.

When you're ready to cook. Pull out the chicken, put it in a roasting pan (or if you keep the roasting pan and chicken together in the freezer like I did, just stick it all in). Cook in your oven on 350 degrees for about 2-3 hours or until the juices run clear when you cut between the thigh and the breast, about 160 degrees on a meat thermometer. Depending on the brand of chicken you buy, a roaster might have one of those pop up gauges that will tell you when it's done. About half way through, I cut and pulled out the oven bag to brown the chicken better.

Love the Little Children

2010-08-22T22:53:00.001-04:00

Although it took about 15 minutes into our ride home from church to reach the full fledged tantrum stage, the meltdown began just before pick-up from Sunday school. By the time we reached our destination it had grown into red-faced, screaming, flailing craziness. Absolutely nothing satisfied the madness, not even a lolly pop (Yummy Earth Organic of course). The screaming had affected every one in the car, and soon my other children were whining about hunger pains and dehydration. I had run out of tricks and treats and should have been ready to scream myself, but inside there was peace.

I've been convicted lately about loving my children for who they are (all the good, bad and ugly), not for who they make me, or I guess I should say not loving them for who I want them to make me look like.

The tantrum was not a reflection of my parenting style or an indication I had failed to perform some vital motherly function. Kids go nuts sometimes, and you can't always love or discipline them out of it. Sometimes you just have to endure and love them anyway.

No one could be blamed, as if that would have helped. This was just one of the wonderful bundles of joy God gave me reacting to the usual Sunday struggle with violent self-expression. Discipline and correction are a vital part of my job as a mother, but they don't work without love and acceptance.

I'm very thankful for the peace God gave me during that long car ride home. It felt like a special gift from my heavenly Father just to show me He loves me and understands. (I'll save the comparison between child and parent, woman and God for another day.)

And, by the way, the best behaved in the car was Jackson. The one with the biggest excuse to throw a tantrum was holding his ears and trying to watch the movie. The big screamer was my 19 month old daughter with extremely powerful lungs. I'm thinking opera, something on stage at least, for her eventual vocation. She can hit pitches only dogs can hear, and I love her beautiful voice whatever volume she chooses.

If I Could Just Touch the Hem of His Garment

2010-08-15T23:39:00.000-04:00

"A certain woman, which had an issue of blood twelve years, and had suffered many things of many physicians, and had spent all that she had, and was nothing better, but rather grew worse, when she had heard of Jesus, came in the press behind, and touched his garment. For she said, If I may touch but his clothes, I shall be whole." Mark 5:25-28

This past week has been especially harried and busy. The new school year, baseball, new therapies and a new schedule along with more personal and family struggle has left me once again trying to find my way through the maze that is my life. This week I have often felt like I was running just to catch myself. In a moment of overwhelming desperation, I cried out to God for intervention. In this prayer I found myself asking to touch the hem of His garment. If I could just get close enough to touch Him, I knew I would be be ok.

That's when I went back to this story and read it again. I needed to know how. This is what God laid on my heart.

Forget all you know and all you've learned about your situation. Come to Jesus with empty hands seeking not to bargain or purchase His favor. Seek Him as your only hope knowing that seeking answers in yourself and other people will only make you worse. Push through the crowd, through their judgment and opinions. Reach for Him not caring if you get trampled in the process. You are not too insignificant for Him to care. Your problem is not too small for Him to notice. He is here. Reach out and touch Him.

Falling Through the Church's Cracks

2010-08-08T22:37:00.002-04:00

Every mother of a preschooler knows the struggle you face just trying to attend a church service, let alone worship. The hassle getting them dressed in 'itchy' stiff clothes, fed and out the door is just the first hurdle. Then there's getting them to their class room or the nursery. Then you have to make the decision (depending on the size of your church) will they sit with you in 'big church' or go to a children's church. Inevitably you're there during nap time or snack time or some other time that makes them act like they've been neglected their whole lives. Then you can feel the glares from what seems like everyone, some in judgment, some in pity, and you're not sure which glare feels worse. The stress is enough to make you want to just stay home and listen to the sermon podcast while they're snuggled in their beds taking a nap.

I've spent many Sundays that way, arriving home feeling like I've just fought a huge battle, and I don't know if I won. An old friend of mine once told me, "It can't all be easy. God expects a little effort on our part." And, I agree. It can't all be easy. We do have to go through those battles to raise children that love the Lord and want to serve Him. We've got to show them that it takes more to stop us than start us, and loving God is the most important thing in our lives. After all, they grow out of it, right? It's just a couple of years of struggling, right?

What if you had to fight a similar but tougher battle EVERY time you went to church, what if there was little hope of it ever getting any better, what if the rest of the church seemed to merely tolerate yours and your child's presence, would you still go? I know many families of children with special needs that have fallen out of church and fallen through the cracks because it just got too hard.

Mother's of special needs children are much more likely to develop severe depression than mothers of healthy, typically developing children. They tend to fall into patterns of isolation only adding to the problem. When you have to fight and struggle to accomplish simple tasks like going to the grocery store or getting a shower, you lose the will and the energy to fight those bigger battles.

Comparing the difference to taking my typically developing children and my special needs child to church, I can say it is definitely harder. I had gone to church my whole life, went to Christian college and intended to have my children in church their whole lives, too. But, things got so hard with Jackson that I felt forgotten and discouraged. I eventually just gave up, and we didn't go to church for months. There are so many emotions involved that it would be hard for me to explain, but I was crying out to God for help. Was there anyone who would identify with my struggle and help me carry this load?

Two years ago, we started attending a church with an amazing special needs ministry, Green Light.

One of the preschool children's ministers at our church will forever be one of my heroes. When she found out about Jackson's condition, it seemed like she would look for us to walk in the door. She made friends with him, and started a ritual with him for the first several weeks we were there. She would take him to the resource room and get him a special toy to play with. She would walk him to his class and stay with him until he was settled. She was compassionate toward me and paid attention to every one of his issues. It is no surprise that he LOVES it there. I believe it had everything to do with her taking the time to meet his special needs and break through that barrier.

Jackson doesn't need that kind of attention anymore, but he still remembers her. She's busy every Sunday doing what she does, but every time we run into each other in the hall, she greets us with hugs. She was a direct answer to prayer, a provision from God for all my tears. Because of her, I was able to actually attend a service and worship worry and distraction free. I was finally able to connect and be fed. Leaving the service now, I feel energized and encouraged, the way I used to feel before I had kids.

It's so easy for special needs families to fall through the cracks and fade away lost and forgotten to the local church. I know because I nearly did.

If you are a family with special needs, take heart, there are churches that will help you carry your load. If you are a member of a church, please take the time to reach out to those that seem to be carrying a heavier burden.

Eggsperiment Conclusion

2010-08-06T18:08:00.000-04:00

It took a little while to get here, to the conclusion of my eggsperiment.

The problem: Jackson develops severe digestive problems and a rash after ingesting eggs.

The hypothesis: Jackson's intolerance of eggs might be linked to the corn protein passed from hen to egg.

The test: Give Jackson eggs from free range, oat fed hens.

The conclusion: I gave Jackson something yummy and homemade using the farm fresh, free range eggs from my parents' farm. Each day I tried to increase the amount of egg he received. He remained symptom free throughout the trial. On day eight however, he was accidentally exposed to corn syrup. He reacted as he normally does, and we went back to our previous diet restrictions while his system recovered. Before he fully recovered, however, he got a stomach virus (along with the rest of the family), and we had to postpone any further experimentation a few days. Once he had bounced back and his system had reset, I made him some pancakes using regular store bought eggs. He reacted within 20 minutes (severe diarrhea and a rash that lasted for about a day). By the end of the day, his stomach had emptied itself of the allergen and he was feeling just fine. I do intend to test store bought eggs again, but I'll have to wait until the next school break (just in case the next reaction is worse).

So, once again, I'm no scientist or food allergy expert, but my Doctor Mom conclusion is that it is the corn protein or at least the stress hormones in the store bought eggs that cause his reaction.

My mind has been drifting recently to holiday cooking and birthday cakes WITH EGGS!!! That is, if my parents can figure out what to do about the gigantic snake that has become quite fat raiding their hen house after the chickens leave to scratch for their breakfast. They don't want to kill it, and are trying other ways to prevent its thievery. We'll see.

Chicken Pot Pie

2010-08-05T17:43:00.002-04:00

Eager to get back to basics and learn to cook from scratch like so many women did long before me, I bought an out of print cookbook that contained all kinds of neat information and old recipes. Most of the recipes were from The Country Kitchen Cookbook published in 1894. There was one called Chicken Pie that listed as it's ingredients, 1 boiled chicken and broth, flour, milk, salt and pepper and biscuit dough. It had four steps and no measurements. I decided though there was something to the biscuit top, and set to work on creating my own version.

This recipe makes a very large pie or two medium sized pies. I usually make two medium pies and freeze one before baking.

My kids LOVE the biscuit crust, and this is also one of those sneaky recipes that gets my kids to eat veggies without noticing.

3-4 chicken breasts, cooked and chopped into cubes (4-6 cups, I prefer to roast the chicken, but boiling works just as well.)
1 32 oz package chicken broth (I use Progresso's 100% Natural) or about 4 1/2 cups homemade broth
1 1/2 stick unsalted butter
2 cups chopped onions (two small or one large)
3/4 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 cup cream
2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp pepper
1 12 oz pkg frozen peas and carrots (I like the flavor of the soup mix with corn better, but since Jackson can't have it, we use the simple peas and carrots)

In a small saucepan, heat the chicken broth. In a large pot or dutch oven (this is the one you'll be adding everything to), melt the butter and saute the onions until translucent, about 10 minutes. Add the flour and cook over low heat, stirring constantly, for about 2 minutes. Add the chicken broth. Simmer over low heat for another minute or so, stirring until thick. Add the salt, pepper and cream and stir until well combined. Add chicken, carrots and peas. Mix well. Allow to simmer until peas and carrots are heated through.
While the filling is simmering prepare your crust.

1 1/2 cup unbleached self-rising flour
1/2 tsp salt
1 tbsp sugar
3 tbsp butter, softened
1 - 1 1/2 cup buttermilk

In a medium non-metal mixing bowl, whisk together salt, sugar and flour. Cut in butter until there are no lumps bigger than a pea. Add buttermilk to the flour until you get a thick but spreadable consistency.

Pour your filling into two 1.5 quart casserole dishes or 1 2.5-3 quart dish. If you're freezing the pie, you'll want to use a metal pan since a glass dish might crack or split in two, and you'll want to let the filling cool before the next step. Carefully spoon your biscuit dough over top of the pie and spread evenly. It will rise and spread together in the oven. If you're freezing, place the pie uncovered on a level shelf in your freezer (I use my chest freezer). Check on it in about an hour or so, then cover with foil, label and wrap well. It should keep for a month or two in a regular freezer and 3-4 months in a chest freezer.

Bake on 350 degrees F for about 30-45 minutes until the top is golden brown.

Apple Fritters

2010-08-03T22:27:00.001-04:00

My oldest son and my daughter act almost like it's Christmas when they get an apple fritter from the bakery. Jackson hasn't ever acted like it bothered him that he couldn't have one (I usually have something else special for him), but he's asked a couple of times if they would make him sick. One of the last couple of times we got them, my oldest, Jacob, asked me if Jackson could have one. I told him that he couldn't because at the very least the baker probably uses regular powdered sugar (with corn starch) for the glaze. So, he matter of factly said, "Oh, well then, you'll just have to make them." Then over the past few weeks, whenever I was cooking or testing a recipe, he would ask me if I had made a recipe for apple fritters yet.

I started feeling the pressure, and got up the nerve to at least check into it. All the recipes I found were for the quick bread type. I know the ones from the bakery are made from a yeast dough.

I got brave and decided to take a basic yeast doughnut recipe and tweak it to create my version of apple fritters. I had no idea how it would turn out, but the dough looked good, felt good and rose well. When I started frying, the house smelled like I was frying apple pies, and I had all noses in the kitchen while I cooked. Everyone was so excited, but no one as excited as Jackson. I guess it bothered him more than I realized that he couldn't have the same yummy treat as everyone else.

The final product turned out really good. They taste like apple doughnuts. My daughter can't get enough, and Jackson got to sit and enjoy his first apple fritter ever. He loved it!

Fritters:
3/4 cup scalded milk
1/2 cup butter
1/2 cup white sugar
1/4 cup brown sugar
1/4 tsp salt
2 1/4 tsp yeast (1 quarter ounce packet)
1/4 cup warm water
4 cups sifted all-purpose flour
1 tsp ground cinnamon
2 eggs, beaten
2 cups chopped apple (tart, crisp apples, not the kind you put in a pie, I used Galas because I had them on hand)
oil for deep frying

In a small bowl, combine yeast and warm water with a pinch of sugar. Set aside until foamy.
In a small sauce pan, scald the milk and melt the butter.
In a medium mixing bowl stir together the scalded milk, butter, sugars and salt. Set aside to cool.
In a large mixing bowl, stir cinnamon and 2 cups of the flour.
Combine milk mixture with flour mixture. Add beaten eggs and yeast. Mix just until smooth.
Add chopped apples.
Mix in the remaining 2 cups of flour 1/2 cup at a time using more or less to get a nice firm dough.
Knead for about 5 minutes.
Coat dough in melted butter and place in a covered bowl to rise until doubled, usually about 45 minutes.
Punch the dough down and knead again for a couple of minutes. Return to the bowl to rise again for about 30 minutes.
While you're waiting for it to rise, add oil to stock pot (I used my dutch oven) or fryer, about an inch or two deep. When your dough is almost done rising, heat the oil to about 375 degrees F.
Grab about a tablespoon or two size dough ball. Roll and flatten in your hands, flat as a pancake. They will rise considerably. So, start small to get the right size. (You don't want burnt crust and doughy centers.) Fry fritters a few at a time. Cook on each side until golden brown then remove to a towel to drain.

Glaze:
1/2 cup butter, melted
2-3 cups powdered sugar (I use Whole Foods' or Trader Joe's brand, organic and corn free)
2 tsp vanilla
5-6 tbsp hot water

In a medium mixing bowl, melt the butter. Add vanilla. Sift sugar and add slowly to butter. Keep adding until you have a stiff ball of sugar. Run your faucet until water is as hot as you can get it. Add hot water to the butter mixture 1 Tbsp at a time until you get a nice glaze consistency. You want it to be relatively thin. Dip fritters in glaze on both sides and lay on a rack or sheet pan to dry.

Makes about 2 dozen.

Forgetting the Good Stuff

2010-08-01T14:21:00.002-04:00

The house needs cleaning. The laundry is piling up. Thereare chocolate fingerprints on the walls and windows. All this cooking is hardenough, but then come the dishes. Ugh. Then there’s therapy and school,shopping and church. The list grows faster than I can cross things off. So muchI NEED to do, and it seems like I’m always behind, always disappointed in myown performance, struggling to be the perfect mother and never measuring up.

When I get like this, I start telling myself, “You’returning into Martha.” You know, the infamous Martha from Luke 10. I haven’talways been this way. For the better part of my childhood, I would say I fitmore into the Mary category, able to ignore the details for fellowship. Thensomewhere in college, I felt like I was developing a split personality, partMary, part Martha. The Mary part of me has since lost precious ground withevery burden and responsibility I have taken on.

“Martha, Martha, you are worried and bothered about so manythings; but only one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good part, and it will not be taken away from her.” (from Luke 10:41-42)

Mary and Martha’s story was about Jesus and theirrelationship with Him, but I’d like to step out of the box and apply it alittle differently than you would likely hear in church or a Bible study. Iwant to share the way I often use it to remind myself what is really important.

Jackson’s autism is a daily challenge. There’s pottytraining (which is beginning to look like it will be a lifelong battle),teaching him to dress and groom himself, preparing his food, providing orderand consistency in his routine, teaching him manners and how to control himselfaround others, and teaching him proper language and communication. Teaching a childon the spectrum these things is nothing like teaching a typical child. Jacksondoesn’t make those intuitive leaps you can count on in typical children.Everything I teach him must be deliberate and intentional, and I have to beliteral in what I say (that’s not easy for an abstract thinking creativemommy). Besides what I need to teach him, there are things like brushing,therapeutic listening, and the things we do to alleviate his sensorydiscomfort.

Since I lean more toward the Martha side of the spectrumthese days, it’s easy for me to lump all these activities into a list of thingsto do, crossing them off as I go, moving forward to the next item on the list.It’s easy to focus on the things I need to do for him while neglecting his mostbasic need, a relationship with me.

Jackson won’t notice if the laundry piles up. He doesn’t seethe chocolate fingerprints on the wall. He’ll eat yogurt, bananas and hot dogsfor every meal if I let him. But, he does notice when I’m too busy for him. Hisbehavior digresses when we miss therapy, or when I forget to brush him, andit’s not always pretty, but his reaction to not getting enough time from me isexponentially greater than missing any other therapy or exercise we practice.

So, when I get bogged down in my never ending to do list,and I tell myself, “You’re turning into Martha.” I could just as easily betelling myself, “You’ve forgotten your children.”

There are so many things a mother must do to run her homeand raise her children, but there is only one truly necessary thing, only onething that can’t be neglected, her relationship with her children.

My kids love it when I read to them, build lego towers, playboard games, dance to their favorite kiddy songs (Jackson’s are Going on a BearHunt and Bare Necessities), making up new sports to play, and so much more. Ilike to play like I cook. It has to taste good but it’s great if it’s healthy,too. So, I like to have fun with them, but I want them to learn or benefit fromour play as much as possible.

Here are some play suggestions I got from Autism Speaks’ 100 Day Action Plan.

Ideas for Purposeful Play

From the University of Washington Autism Center ParentCare Book

Imitation: Object and Motor

• Sing finger play songs such as the Itsy Bitsy Spider, 5Little Monkeys, Zoom down the Freeway

• Utilize musical instruments: “Let’s make music”, playSimon Says, have a musical parade, slow down, speed up, “Follow Me Song”

• Figurines: know on barn door, follow the leader to theschoolhouse

• Block play: make identical block structures

• Painting and drawing similar pictures, strokes, circles,lines, dot art

• Dramatic play: feeding babies, pouring tea, driving carsor trains on tracks, hammering nails, stirring

Receptive and Expressive Labeling
Embed labeling intoactivities such as:

• House (cup, spoon, plate, door)

• Grocery store (orange, apple, banana)

• Dolls (body parts, brush, clothing)

• Barn (animals, tractor)

• Art: Colors, scissors, glue, markers, big crayons,little crayons

• Books: pointing and labeling objects, letters, numbers,shapes, etc.

• Sensory Table: put different colors of animals, shapes,sizes, common objects

• Park/Playground: slide, swing, ball

• Play Dough: use different colored play dough, animalshaped cookie cutters

Receptive Instructions

• Songs: “Simon Says” clap hands, tap legs, etc.

• Clean up time: put in garbage, put on shelf

• During activities request items, “Give me ___”

• Ask child to get their coat/backpack on the way outsideor at the end of the day

Matching • Lotto matching game

• Puzzles with pictures underneath

• Picture to object matching can be done as activityduring play (have the child match the picture of a cow while playing with thebarn)

Requesting

• Utilize motivating items (i.e. bubbles, juice, trains)to address requesting/communication

• Swing: wait to push until child makes the request

• Door: wait to open until child makes a request

• Lunch/Snack withhold until child makes request

• Art: child can request glitter, glue, stickers, paint,etc.

It's Ok if They Don't Eat Like a Nutritionist

2010-07-30T22:40:00.001-04:00

There are 3 baskets of unfolded laundry sitting on my bed right now. I have a rock in my bath tub. Yes, the kind you find in the garden, probably about 8 inches long and a couple inches thick. I'm running low on pull-ups and struggling to find the strength and patience I need to continue to fight in the battle between Jackson and number 2. Add to the usual craziness the fact that school starts next week, and I might just have a panic attack. Preparing breakfast and lunch for my little guy and thinking about trusting someone else with his health is a very scary thing.

Well, I just read some news and the abstract of an article published in Pediatrics on July 19, 2010, Feeding Symptoms, Dietary Patterns, and Growth in Young Children with Autism Spectrum Disorders. Essentially the article said that ASD kids on special diets restricted by allergies or food aversion grow the same as children off the spectrum. GF/CF, yeast free, sugar free, the kind of kid that only eats pudding and jello, the diet didn't matter. They grow just about the same. So, I don't have to freak out quite so much when the only thing he wants to eat for lunch is graham crackers and a banana, and I can pack his lunch with the things I know he will eat and enjoy.

I guess I will have to admit that my pediatrician husband's philosophy, "Feed him what he likes and give him a vitamin. He'll be ok." might actually be right. Well, sometimes and as long as what he likes is on our allergy free, natural menu.

Diet on the Spectrum

2010-07-29T22:13:00.002-04:00

Gluten free, casein free, all-natural, organic, yeast free,sugar free, pro-biotic, and the list could continue indefinitely, a list ofdiets promoted by some to yield miraculous results and even cure autism. Dothey really work? Or, are they just hype? I’m no expert, but I am a mother of achild on the spectrum. I’ve tried a lot of different things looking for thebest diet for him, and I thought I would share what I’ve learned in ourexperimentation.

My son’s digestive issues showed up in infancy. Whilebreast-feeding him, I had to stay away from dairy products. After weaning and startinghim on whole milk, we started to see more severe symptoms (The Beginning). Forthe following year, we fed him organic, natural products that were free of theallergens we discovered. During this diet he went from being a fussy, sicklychild to a happy, playful toddler.

When his delay in motor and language development became moreobvious and harder to explain away, and when other symptoms like head banging,toe walking, hand flapping and extreme tantrums were added to the mix, we choseto seek a diagnosis (How Do You Know). By the time we saw the doctor, I hadreintroduced the major allergens, milk and soy, successfully.

We received his diagnosis just before he turned three (Not My Baby). He still had digestive troubles, something the doctor told us wentalong with his condition. He began attending an all autism class two days aweek, and also received speech and occupational therapy four times a week. Westarted hearing about the GF/CF diet. Many parents suggested removing sugar andany foods that fed yeast. Some talked about medications and therapies we hadn’theard of before. Our heads were swimming with all the information. Knowing wedidn’t want to cause more harm than good, we weeded through the information,choosing not to consider anything that seemed too experimental or dangerous.

Having been through what we went through with his foodallergies, altering his diet didn’t seem so scary. His digestive problems hadreturned but not with the same predictability they had before. I was optimisticas to what we would discover on this diet. However, I did worry about what hewould eat. At that time, the only thing he would drink was milk, and his diet wasVERY limited. I gathered all the information I could, and we committed to 3months on the gluten free, casein free (GF/CF) diet.

It was hard getting him to let go of the foods he loved, butI worked hard to have acceptable alternatives for him. I discovered Bob’s RedMill and Ghee, and started getting the hang of the whole thing. Within thefirst week we were pleased to see initial calming of his digestive symptoms,but had yet to see behavioral changes.

Then there was an explosion of symptoms. He was nearly assick as he had been at one; only this time, I knew what was happening and whatto do. So, I started another food challenge system and food diary, and wediscovered he was still allergic to corn and eggs. This time, however, theycaused much more violent symptoms.

I then discovered flax seed and egg replacer, agave nectarand Lyles Golden Syrup. We stuck to the diet, and saw dramatic results. He was tryingnew foods. His appetite grew to the point I wondered if I was ever going tofeed him enough. He was curious and excited about meal time. He was calmer,more able to listen. His teachers and therapists reported better behavior andability to concentrate. We were very pleased.

The three months passed, and I was happy with the results.Still I worried about him not getting the proper amount of fat (needed forproper brain development), protein and calcium. Plus, my curiosity got thebetter of me. I decided to reintroduce wheat and milk. We started carefully,not wanting to rock the boat, especially with his new found appetite andwillingness to try new things. One week passed. Two weeks. Three weeks and soon, back on milk and wheat, he had no negative symptoms either digestive orbehavioral.

We decided from this trial that GF/CF is definitely worth atry. It is hard, but not impossible. Going through that trial opened up tastesand textures that I know my son would not have been willing to try had we nottaken all of his preferred foods away. I remember reading somewhere that if youcan say, “oh, my child only eats ____ or drinks _____.” Then there’s somethingwrong, and it would probably be a good idea to change things up a little.

Jackson’s current diet is totally corn-free,egg-free (although we’re in an Eggsperiment with eggs), and as natural andsugar free as I can make it. He eats lots of veggies and fruits, whole grainsand drinks mostly juice and milk.

We learned a lot in all of our experimentation, and I wouldencourage any parent to give it a try. Get a notebook and record what yourchild eats and how they react. Experiment until you find the right diet foryour child and your family.

Keep in mind as you take things away that you need tomaintain proper nutrition. You need to offer a protein, starch and veggie orfruit for a balanced meal. You also need to ensure your child is receiving thecalcium and fat needed for proper childhood development. I would recommend workingclosely with your pediatrician, therapist or nutritionist.

Southern Skillet Cornbread

2010-07-27T21:44:00.002-04:00

My two favorite things in the kitchen have no buttons, power cords or dials. They're really not even that attractive (especially after such use), and their design hasn't changed much since their invention. However, they are two blessings I could not live without: my iron skillet and my dutch oven.

One of the recipes I use my iron skillet for is cornbread. The skillet heated to the proper temp before pouring in the batter gives the cornbread that crispy, yummy crust and turns out that moist, melt in your mouth kind of cornbread that makes your mouth sing. Ok, well, it's good. My corn allergic son can't have cornbread, but being in the habit of cooking everything else from scratch. I cook this from scratch as well. Try it and see the difference for yourself.

{Soy and Milk Free} There is no substitute for moist, densebuttermilk cornbread, but if you use almond or rice milk and oil, it will turn out more crumbly but still very good.

2½ cups yellow cornmeal (NOT cornmeal mix)

1 cup all-purpose flour

2 tsp salt

2 tsp baking powder (homemade)

½ tsp baking soda

2-3 tbsp butter, shortening, strained bacon drippings (much better than you might think) or canola oil

2 cups buttermilk (rice, soy or almond, use about 1 3/4 cup)

2 eggs (you can't make very good cornbread without eggs)

Preheat Oven to 400 degrees. Grease iron skillet (this is where bacon drippings would add flavor to the crust). Place skillet in oven to preheat. In a large non-metalbowl, combine cornmeal and all-purpose flour, salt, baking powder and bakingsoda. Cut in 2-3 Tbsp butter until there are noclumps larger than a pea. In a separate bowl beat eggs and milk together. Mixdry and wet ingredients. Pour into preheated skillet and bake for 30-40 minutesor until toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean.

Work of God

2010-07-25T22:37:00.002-04:00

We as a society often view disability as an accident or flawin our design. Those who claim no particular faith might say it is part of theevolutionary process, a hiccup in the laws of nature. To those who believe thatway, I make no argument, at least not here, but I would challenge them to spendtime with a disabled child, be it autism, down syndrome, or any other of themany conditions prevalent in our society. Get to know them, and then tell me theywere a mistake.

Still others who claim faith in a higher power and believein intelligent design, might say it is just part of the curse, part of livingin an imperfect world. They might argue that God doesn’t make mistakes, but wedo. So, these diseases and conditions are a result of our own bad choices. Thismust have been the way Jesus’ disciples felt when they asked Him about theblind man in John 9. To paraphrase, “Who’s sin caused his blindness, his or hisparents’?” Jesus’ reply has brought me great comfort and hope for my son’scondition. Again, to paraphrase, “Neither. He was born this way so that thework of God might be displayed in him.”

This man’s blindness was not an act of divine punishment onan innocent child. Nor was it an accident or oversight on God’s part. It was acalling, a purposeful, intentional act of an all knowing, ever loving God.Growing in his mother’s womb, God chose this man to live blind, to be known asa man blind from birth, and to be healed by Jesus himself. His path was laidbefore he ever took a breath, the path that would lead him to Jesus.

That blind man was healed. He received his sight in thislife, and through that miracle many others found healing and salvation. I don’tknow what the future holds for my son, but I know that his condition is noaccident. If he overcomes his autism and succeeds in this life, it will havebeen the work of God. However, if he struggles with his condition the rest ofhis life, it’s ok. It is his special calling. One that only he can fulfill.

I believe my Jackson was born with autism so that the workof God might be displayed in him, so that many others might through this workfind healing and salvation. I place my hope in the hands of the God who madehim, to lead him and guide him until the day that same God makes him whole andcalls him home.

And, I can’t help but think that when we all get there and areable to see the way God sees, we’ll find that we were the ones with limitedsight and out of whack senses.

Chocolate Chocolate Chip Muffins

2010-07-23T09:22:00.001-04:00

Ok. So, there are already a couple of muffin recipes on hereso far, but this one is so great, I had to share it, too. The great thing about baking with chocolate is that you can't taste the difference between your regular or allergen free recipes.

1 ¾ cups all purpose flour (for extra fiber, use 1 ¼ cupsall purpose and ½ cup wheat flour)

2 tsp baking powder (homemade)

½ tsp baking soda

3 tbsp cocoa powder

¾ cup powdered sugar (or ½ cup agave nectar)

1 cup chocolate chips, plus some for sprinkling over the top

1 cup milk (rice, soy or cow)

1/3 cup melted butter (apple sauce or another oil)

1 egg (or 1 ½ tsp egg replacer + 2 tbsp warm water)

1 tsp vanilla extract

Preheat oven to 400 degrees F. Whisk together flour, bakingpowder, baking soda, cocoa powder and powdered sugar (if you’re using agavenectar add it to the wet ingredients). In a separate bowl, mix together milk,melted butter, egg and vanilla (if you’re using melted butter, warming the milkhelps keep it from chunking when you mix them together). Combine dry and wetingredients, just until moist. Fold in chocolate chips. Line muffin tin withpaper muffin cups. Fill cups about 2/3 full with batter. Bake for 15-18 minutesor until a fork inserted comes out clean. Makes 12 regular sized muffins.

Restaurants and Food Allergies

2010-07-22T21:22:00.005-04:00

Most parents agree that fast food is not healthy for their children, allergies or not, but when you have errands to run or you are on a road trip, it is almost unavoidable. For kids with allergies it is more than unhealthy, it is dangerous. We have given up fast food almost completely, and for the most part, I don't miss it. Eating out as a family or for special occasions, however, is a whole other story.

You've got to assume that whatever they're serving could contain your allergen even if it doesn't seem like it would logically contain it. For example, my son is allergic to corn. Corn syrup is often added to things like sausage, bread, even chicken soup. So, I have made it a habit to ask before we go.

I've called more than a few restaurants with my list of questions. I ask things like, do you make your food on site or is it prepackaged? What is in your bread? What do you use in your breading? What oil do you fry in? Do you share fryers? And, the list goes on depending on the type of restaurant I'm talking to.

I’ve found that for the most part, they are more than happy to answer my questions, and if they can't answer me, find someone who can. I have even had a store manager tear off a label from a box in their kitchen and bring it to me so I could check it myself. Don’t ever be afraid to ask. Also, a lot of larger chains post allergen information on their websites. So, it is a good idea to check the website before you call so you're asking the right questions.

Through my effort, we've found a few local restaurants that are both tasty and safe for our whole family, and we love supporting local businesses that have been helpful and accommodating to our special needs.

Gluten Free Pancakes

2010-07-21T14:10:00.003-04:00

1 1/4 cup rice flour
1/4 cup potato starch
2 tsp baking powder (homemade)
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
1 cup milk (soy, rice, almond or cow - less than a cup for rice or almond)
3 tsp Ener-G egg replacer powder with 4 tbsp warm water (or 2 eggs)
1/4 melted butter or canola oil
1 tbsp vanilla (yes, I meant tbsp)

Combine all dry ingredients. Combine all wet ingredients. Mix dry and wet together just until moist. Grease griddle well and heat to about 325 degrees F. We use agave nectar for syrup, and I will sometimes add a little to the batter to sweeten it up a little.

Gluten Free Muffins

2010-07-20T21:39:00.005-04:00

We would not have survived our gluten free, casein free trial without these yummy things. Jackson would just gush when he got one for breakfast or even better, included in his lunch as a special treat. I've had great results with adding lots of different kinds of fruit, bananas being his favorite.

3/4 cup white rice flour
1/4 cup brown rice flour
1/2 cup potato starch
1 cup sugar
1/2 tsp salt
2 tsp baking powder (homemade)
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp xanthan gum
2 tsp vanilla
1 cup milk (rice, soy or cow)
1 egg (or 1 1/2 tsp egg replacer + 2 tbsp warm water)
5 tbsp butter, melted (or 3 tbsp ghee, spectrum organic shortening or a tasteless oil like canola)

Preheat oven to 325 degrees F. Grease mini muffin tin with GF oil or spray. Combine flour, sugar, salt, baking powder, baking soda, xanthan gum and cinnamon (dry ingredients). In a separate bowl, mix vanilla, milk, egg and melted butter. Combine dry and wet ingredients until mixed. Batter will be thicker and stickier than regular muffin batter. FILL mini muffin cups. Bake for 20-25 minutes rotating pan 180 degrees half way through cook time. Makes two dozen mini muffins.

I found that with gluten free baking, the rise worked better in smaller pans. That's why I use the mini muffin pans, and there won't be as much rise as with gluten baking, so filling the cups gives them that nice rounded muffin look on top. Also, rotating the pan really does help get an even brown on every muffin.

Eggsperiment Conclusion Postponed

2010-07-18T15:34:00.003-04:00

Ok. We did decide to continue the eggsperiment using store bought eggs. Since it has been more than a year since my food-allergic little guy has had any kind of egg in his diet, we thought more experimentation was needed to determine whether it really was the corn protein in the commercially harvested eggs or if he has outgrown the egg intolerance.

I should have started this process already, but my older son decided it was ok to sneak HIS prize candy off the top of the fridge and give some to his brother. So, now we have to wait for the corn to get out of his system completely before we can start the new trial period. That should only take a couple more days.

More posts to follow.

Different but not Less

2010-07-18T15:29:00.001-04:00

“Different but not less.” – Temple Grandin

We tell our children that everyone is different. Everyone is special. Each person has a unique place and purpose in this world. However, we show them that those who possess certain talents, abilities or aesthetics are to be celebrated and lifted above the rest of us. Those talented, beautiful people are truly special. We also show them that those who possess certain personality traits, inabilities, and unsightly features are to be tolerated but not really accepted. Those different, unlovely people are truly insignificant. Most of us fall between these two groups of people, the special and the insignificant. If some of us are blessed with a child that possesses ‘special’ qualities, we burst with pride and excitement at all the future holds for our baby. If some of us are blessed with a child that possesses ‘insignificant’ qualities, we grieve the loss of normalcy and struggle to see any future for that child.

There’s a big social push to take care of those less fortunate in our country today, and I’m glad to see it. But, writing a check or joining a cause isn’t enough to change the way we teach our children to view those less fortunate, those different than us. The quote I used at the top of this post came from an autistic woman who has accomplished more than anyone thought an autistic person could accomplish at that time. She knew she was different, but she also knew that her difference didn’t make her inferior. Now if we could take that same knowledge she had of herself and apply it to our lives in the way we treat others who don’t look, think or act the way we look, think or act, I think we could raise children who truly see that EVERYONE is unique. Everyone is special, and EACH person has a place and a purpose in this world.

Eggsperiment: Day 7

2010-07-14T16:43:00.002-04:00

Day 6 was uneventful as far as symptoms go, and we're now on day 7.

Today I made banana pudding, something he gobbled up when he was very small. I used my parents' farm fresh, corn-free eggs for the vanilla custard and the meringue. I had to use a different cookie than usual, and should have bought two bags because I didn't have any leftover for garnish on the top. So, it doesn't look like much, but it tastes really great. Well, I think so anyway. Jackson however had trouble with there being 4 textures in one bowl. Maybe later I'll make him just the vanilla custard since he dug around to salvage as much of that part as he could.

We're nearing the end of my experiment. Conclusion to come.

Annie's Homegrown

2010-07-13T22:55:00.004-04:00

It's been one of those busy days where much has been accomplished, but computer time has been scarce. So, I thought I would share a quick recommendation for one of my favorite brands, Annie's Homegrown. They offer so many products available that my little guy can have and enjoy, that I feel like their company makes my life easier on a regular basis. Love those little rabbits.

Eggsperiment: Day 5

2010-07-12T22:17:00.004-04:00

Ok. So, day 5 and still no symptoms.

Today, my little guy went to VBS, and the snack tonight was ice cream sandwiches. So, this is what I fixed for him to take. This is the first cookie I've baked with egg in it in more than a year. I usually make these with egg replacer, but if you're looking for an awesome chewy sugar cookie, this recipe rocks. The ice cream is Breyers All Natural vanilla. Jackson was so excited to have an ice cream sandwich like everyone else.

Freezer Nuggets

2010-07-12T12:48:00.003-04:00

Chicken nuggets are a staple in most kids' diets. If you've got a food allergic kid, though, it can be tough to find any that are both safe and tasty. I gave up on that whole idea and figured out how to just do it myself. I've found that the key to good nuggets is buttermilk.

You can use boneless skinless chicken breasts, thighs or tenders. Cut them into about 1 inch chunks (I use scissors for that, makes it much more precise). Then place them in buttermilk to soak for at least 30 minutes (in the fridge). If you're cooking a pound of chicken and using a pretty good size bowl, you shouldn't need more than a cup or so of buttermilk. You can use soy milk to go dairy free, or even mix up a vinegar/salt brine to soak them in. You'll get the same effect just a little different flavor. While they're soaking, mix up your flour and seasoning.

For a pound of chicken, put about a cup of flour into a ziploc bag. Use self-rising flour (always natural and unbleached) for the 'extra crispy' crust, and all-purpose for the 'original' crust. You can go gluten-free and use rice flour, too (add a tsp of baking powder to the mix for more of an 'extra crispy' like crust). Add about a teaspoon of seasoning (recipe below), close the bag and shake well to evenly distribute seasoning.

Start heating your oil (I use canola) to about 375 degrees F. You don't have to have a fryer to do this, and since I hate to reuse the oil when I fry meat, I usually fry these in my iron skillet anyway. You want to put enough oil to fill the pan about a half inch deep. You can test the temp with a fry thermometer or wet your fingers and sprinkle some water in the pan. When it bubbles and sizzles you're ready.

Once your nuggets have soaked a little while, take them out of the buttermilk and put them dripping wet into the bag with the flour mixture. Shake them up to get an even coating.

Once your oil is hot, drop the nuggets in one at a time, if you're frying in a skillet. You don't want to over crowd them. They'll make the temp drop in your oil a little, and if you put too many in at once, they'll stick together and drop the temp of your oil so much that they'll be greasy.

Let them cook for about 2-5 minutes on each side. Until you get used to frying, you'll need a meat thermometer to make sure they're done (about 165 degrees F). It is especially hard to tell when you go gluten free because the rice flour doesn't brown like wheat flour. Try this a few times, though, and you won't need the thermometer anymore.

Let them cool completely, but don't let them sit too long (they'll get soggy). Place them in a freezer bag and place in your freezer. When you're ready for a quick nugget meal, pull what you need out of the freezer and cook them in your oven. 400 degrees F for about 10-15 minutes or until heated through.

Seasoning

We like it spicy, and the more 'red' you put in the flour (especially if you're going gluten free), the more yummy your final product will look. You can add a little extra paprika and leave out the cayenne if you're worried about it being too spicy.

2 teaspoons paprika
2 teaspoons salt
2 teaspoons garlic powder
1 teaspoon black pepper
1 teaspoon onion powder
1 teaspoon cayenne pepper

Combine all the spices in a ziploc bag or tupperware container. Mix well. Store for up to 3 months or so.

Eggsperiment: Day 4

2010-07-11T21:31:00.004-04:00

Day 4 of my eggsperiment (giving Jackson a small amount of egg every day), and we are still symptom free. The rash I worried about on Day 3 has disappeared, and his skin is back to normal. Yay! Still no digestive issues. Just four more days of official experimentation, but I'm considering trying store bought eggs the next week to see if it really is the corn or if he's outgrown the allergy all together.

Brushing Technique

2010-07-11T14:41:00.004-04:00

The first time I heard my mother-in-law (special-ed teacher in the public school system) suggest ‘brushing’ my son, Jackson, I thought it sounded silly. What good could that possibly bring? His PDD clearly affected his sensitivity to touch, and it just didn’t make sense to me at the time. I politely listened, but decided it wasn’t worth the fight.

After we received his diagnosis and we were settled in occupational and speech therapy, however, his OT suggested we start ‘brushing’ him, too. She explained the Wilbarger Protocol for Sensory Defensiveness or ‘brushing technique.’ She gave me a therapy brush, showed me how to use it, and challenged me to commit to brushing him every two hours for two weeks to see if it made a difference. I still thought it was silly, but for Jackson’s sake, I decided to give it a try.

This technique uses a tightly bristled, soft hand brush (looks like a big finger nail scrubber) and joint compression to alleviate sensitivity or satisfy deep pressure craving. You basically brush the back, arms, palms, legs and the bottom of the feet. Then you apply deep pressure to joints by holding the arm or leg straight and pushing toward the shoulder or hip from the palm or foot. The joint compression technique is different for older children, but it accomplishes the same thing: relief.

I noticed results almost immediately. There was less fidgeting, crashing and crazy repetitive behavior. He was better able to sit and read a book or snuggle during a movie. He pitched fewer tantrums and seemed more evenly tempered overall. I definitely didn’t think it was silly now, and regretted not listening to my mother-in-law sooner.

That trial was nearly two years ago, and we’re still brushing. We’ve tailored it to fit his condition and our schedule*, but it is still a very important part of our routine. He even asks for it on occasion.

I’m definitely glad we tried it. For something so simple and ‘silly’ it really makes a big difference, and I’m glad to be able to offer Jackson some relief from his cravings and sensitivities.

* We noticed toward the end of the two-week trial that every two hours was too much for him. He loved it in the morning, but by the late afternoon, he would pull away and try to avoid it. So, we altered our timing to before bed, nap, school and other out-of-the-home activities.

NOTE: This is not for every child, and if done improperly, it can cause more harm than good. You should proceed only under the care of a qualified therapist.

Eggsperiment: Day 3

2010-07-10T19:19:00.003-04:00

Today was more of the same: cinnamon rolls and muffins. He still has zero digestive symptoms, but I'm starting to see a rash creep up in a familiar spot. Since it's summer and we're swimming and playing outside a lot, it could be from something else. So, I'm going to continue giving him a little of my parents' corn-free, farm fresh eggs every day like I planned and watch the rash closely as we proceed. We'll see.

Tips and Tricks

2010-07-10T08:37:00.006-04:00

Basic Nutrition

Each child’s nutritional needs vary, but everyone needs protein, calcium, antioxidants, vitamins, minerals and fiber. The best way to ensure your child is getting these things is to offer a balanced diet containing whole grains, vegetables, fruits, dairy products, and meat or other sources of protein. When your child is diagnosed with a food sensitivity or allergy, some of these foods become unhealthy, but it doesn’t mean you can’t feed your child what they need.

Do your best to balance out the foods your child can’t have with healthy alternatives.

Learn how to prepare safe allergen free substitutes in your own home, and make a conscious choice to feed your child the best you can.

Having said all that, I am a firm believer in letting a kid be a kid, and that includes picky eating. If your child has food allergies or sensitivities, you can’t blame them for being cautious in trying new foods. I found the best way to improve my son’s appetite was to give him things he liked that were safe. When his body began to heal from the allergens, he was more interested in new things, and his appetite exploded. I had to quit obsessing about how balanced his diet was and start seeking ways to enrich his diet with things he could enjoy eating.

Some things I learned from my trial and error:

Substitution and Recipe Adaptation. A lot of my recipes are old family recipes I adapted to my son’s needs. Trial and error became my best teacher. I wasted a LOT of food, but if I found one new thing I could offer my son, I felt like I had succeeded. Some of my recipes would qualify as ‘errors,’ not because they don’t taste good, but because my son wasn’t impressed. So, get in the kitchen and experiment with your own family recipes. You might waste some food, but then again, you might find a gem to pass on to other families.

Fat = flavor. When you start substituting ingredients especially to remove milk and soy products from your recipes, you are essentially taking out the flavor. As adults, we generally think fat is bad, but in my quest to find a safe diet for my child, I determined calories and fat were the least of my problems. Younger children actually need more fat than adults for proper growth and development, and if you have ever tried to feed a hungry two year old ‘health’ food, you know that your chances of filling his tummy are slim to none.

On top of my son’s allergies, he was very picky, and he always seemed hungry. I used to call him my little birdie because he would hold onto my legs and cry until I fed him something he liked. He wanted the good stuff, and I wanted him to be full and content. So, I started searching for substitutes that would add some of that fat back to the recipes. This satisfied his taste-buds and my 'need-to-feed.'

When you look for fat substitutes, look for non-hydrogenated alternate oils and fats like butter, coconut oil, ghee or even hand-rendered lard*. Yes, lard. Google or Bing it and learn a little before you scoff. It used to be THE standard for baking and frying before vegetable shortening was invented. It is actually a little healthier than butter, and if you've got a milk allergy, it could be the 'flavor' you're dying for in pie crusts, biscuits and cakes.

*Note: When I say lard, I mean hand-rendered back or leaf lard from a pig farm or farmers’ market. Avoid the Armour® blocks in the super-market; they are partially hydrogenated giving you the worst of both worlds, saturated and trans-fat. Not to mention they don’t taste very good.

Adding soups or broths enhances the flavor without adding allergens. One of the things my son loved the most, especially when his tummy was upset, was rice. However, he would grow tired of plain rice pretty fast, and most flavored rice boxes contained corn. I started cooking the rice in chicken or beef broth (Swanson’s Organic®), and then decided to try other organic soups made without corn products. I started applying this to other dishes, and pretty soon, I had a whole menu of things I could fix quickly that I knew my son would love.

Veggies: When things like corn and eggs became toxic substances in my child’s diet, my attention turned away from sugar and other substances normally considered bad for children and toward these new enemies. I made eating a balanced diet my priority, and gave up the fight against less preferred ingredients. My grandmother told me that the secret to her mouth-watering veggies was adding a little bit of sugar during the cooking process. She seasoned her veggies depending on the dish she was trying to match, but she always added sugar before anything. I tried this, and it made all the difference in the world. My picky food allergic child was now eating broccoli, green beans, carrots and peas. I was ecstatic to find something he liked that was easy to prepare, healthy and allergen free. That’s what I call a win/win situation. (Using agave nectar works, too, and doesn't change the flavor.)

Agave Nectar and Muffins

2010-07-09T15:55:00.005-04:00

There's been some buzz about using agave nectar in the place of sugar to stay sugar free but natural (avoiding artificial sweeteners). Comparing the bottle of nectar and the package of sugar from my pantry. Agave nectar has more calories and carbs than sugar, but it has a lower glycemic index (which means it won't spike your blood sugar). And, since it's sweeter than sugar, you don't have to use as much.

When it comes to my super active kids, I'm less worried about calories and more worried about hyper-craziness. So, it works for us. I use the dark or blue kind for pancake and waffle syrup. I cook with the light kind, and I've found there isn't any difference in flavor between foods baked with sugar and foods baked with agave. When you bake with it, you should use about half to three quarters what the recipe calls for in sugar, and you might need to adjust the amount of another liquid in the recipe to get the right consistency. Other than that, I think it's great, and thought I would share one of our favorite agave recipes.

Strawberry Banana Muffins with Agave Nectar

1 1/2 cup flour, unbleached all-purpose
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
pinch of cinnamon

2 eggs
1/4 cup canola oil or melted butter
3/4 cup agave nectar, plus about a tsp to drizzle over the strawberries
1/2 tsp vanilla
1 banana, mashed
1 cup strawberries, cut VERY small or processed in a food processor
zest of one lemon

Chop or process the strawberries. Drizzle about a teaspoon of agave nectar over top and stir. Set aside for thirty minutes to an hour.

Preheat oven to 375 degrees F. Sift together dry ingredients. Mix together wet ingredients (banana, strawberries, eggs, nectar, vanilla, oil and zest). Grease and flour muffin tin or line with paper. Combine dry and wet ingredients. Mix just until moistened and fruit is evenly distributed. Fill muffin tins about two thirds full.

Bake for 15-20 minutes or until golden brown and toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean.

The Eggsperiment: Day 2

2010-07-09T13:23:00.004-04:00

As I set a gooey, sticky cinnamon roll in front of my little guy, he immediately reminded me, "Mommy, I can't have that. It will make me sick." With hope in my heart and a prayer under my breath, I told him, "It's ok this time. Enjoy it."

It's been a long time since we've had these wonderful bits of heaven in our house. The gluten free kind left much to be desired, and baking these yummy treats is pretty much impossible without eggs. So, since we discovered my son's egg allergy, they've been off the menu. Well, until I started this eggsperiment. These were one of the first things I wanted to make, and I'm proud to announce he is still symptom free.

Day 1: Muffins
Day 2: Cinnamon Rolls (Paula Dean's Recipe using my natural ingredients)
Day 3: hmmmm

Scratch Pancakes

2010-07-08T14:51:00.005-04:00

We had trouble converting from the Bisquick pancakes both for flavor and for simplicity. These are a little more complicated to put together, but they definitely don't lack flavor.

1 1/4 cup all-purpose flour, unbleached
2 tbsp sugar
1 tsp kosher salt
1 tsp baking soda
2 tsp baking powder (homemade: 2 parts cream of tartar, 1 part baking soda, 1 part potato or corn starch)
1 1/4 cup well-shaken buttermilk
3 tbsp melted butter
3 tsp egg replacer + 4 tbsp water (or 2 eggs)
1 tsp vanilla extract

Combine dry ingredients. Pour buttermilk into microwave safe bowl and heat just til warm (about 15-20 seconds). Melt the butter. Combine buttermilk and melted butter. Mix up egg replacer and warm water, add vanilla and combine all wet ingredients. Combine dry and wet ingredients just until mixed. Heat griddle to about 325 degrees. Pour batter about ¼ cup at a time onto griddle and cook on both sides just until brown. Makes about a dozen pancakes depending on size.

I try to make extra when I have time. Then I freeze them with wax paper between them (to prevent sticking). When I need a quick breakfast, I pull them out and pop them in the toaster or microwave.

Is Organic Really Worth the Money?

2010-07-08T13:08:00.005-04:00

When I realized my son had food allergies, I started reading labels and paying closer attention to what was in the foods I gave him. I had to in order to keep him healthy. I was shocked at the chemicals and other unpronouncable ingredients that make it into our food. I wanted better for him. 'Fresh' became a household word and one of the few words he knew how to say.

It took some serious work and patience to get my son past many of his texture aversions and into eating fresh produce. I remember my excitement when he ate his first banana, and I thought, "Yay! No labels to read." But, that's not exactly accurate. You would think with fresh produce, what you see is what you get, but unfortunately that isn't the case.

The Environmental Working Group (EWG) did a study on pesticide residue present on consumer produce. Their findings were shocking, but interestingly enough, not all produce tested the same. There are some fruits and vegetables that are just as safe to eat (with regard to pesticide and other chemicals) as organic. They published a list of what they called the "Dirty Dozen." The 12 most contaminated fruits and vegetables:

peaches
strawberries
apples
domestic blueberries
nectarines
cherries
imported grapes
Celery
sweet bell peppers
spinach
kale
collard greens
potatoes

(Ok. So, it's a baker's dozen.)

EWG also published a list of what they call the "Clean Fifteen." The fruits and vegetables least likely to test positive for pesticides:

onions
sweet corn
sweet peas
asparagus
cabbage
eggplant
sweet potatoes
avocados
pineapples
mangoes
kiwi
domestic cantaloupe
watermelon
grapefruit
honeydew

Eating organic is healthy, but it's expensive, too. These lists helped me decide what produce we ate really HAD to be organic and what wasn't really such a big deal.

EWG's Shopper's Guide to Pesticides
NBC Nightly News: Eating Organic: When Is It Worth It

The Eggsperiment

2010-07-08T08:52:00.003-04:00

One of my son’s problem foods is egg. We found this food to be a problem during our GF/CF trial when I just couldn’t figure out what was still causing his digestive issues. We cut out eggs and voila, no more symptoms.

I have heard of some people sensitive to eggs being able to eat free range, farm fresh eggs, and that got me thinking. What if it’s how they keep and feed the chickens that makes my son react? So, I looked into it. Corn is one of the major foods fed to commercial egg producing chickens.

Corn is more than a problem for Jackson. Ingestion causes severe vomiting and diarrhea almost immediately. The last time he was exposed, he vomited about every 5 minutes until we got him to the Urgent Care to get a shot.

There’s new research that shows that infants can be exposed to peanut protein through their mother’s breast milk, and I wondered if the corn protein could be passed into a chicken’s egg. I’m no scientist, but my parents have a farm. They raise chickens for the eggs, and they agreed to join with me in a little eggsperiment (hehe).

While their chickens are free range, my parents still supplement with chicken feed. They found a feed that was free of corn and switched as soon as possible, we decided to wait a few months for the corn to get out of their system.

I just received my first carton of eggs yesterday and immediately started our experiment.

Day one I made muffins using the corn-free, farm fresh eggs. So far, no symptoms.

Cooking From Scratch Isn't Really as Hard as You Think

2010-07-07T08:50:00.002-04:00

There was a time when the thought of cooking anything from scratch terrified me, and it wasn’t just the recipes. It was all the time and work involved. However, my need to feed my little angel eventually overwhelmed my fear.

There were definitely days when it felt like I never left the kitchen. Cooking grew tiresome, and I longed for a quick fix from a restaurant or a fast food chain. It was in those moments that I tried to figure out ways to make this whole process a little more efficient.

I started making a couple batches of pancakes, separating them with wax paper and freezing them in a freezer bag. When I needed one, I just popped it in the toaster just like the store-bought boxed kind. I did the same thing with waffles, biscuits, rolls and bread (reheated the rolls and bread in the oven). I learned how to freeze my own pizzas, french fries, pot pies and lasagnas. When I made a dinner, I always made sure I had enough for leftovers to ease lunch time blues the next day. I mixed extra cookie dough and refrigerated it for a quick afternoon snack.

Once I got into a routine and figured out how to handle all this extra cooking, I felt like I had accomplished the impossible in providing safe food for my son while avoiding never-ending days in my kitchen.

You can feed your family allergy safe food without being chained to your oven.

Apple Juice Sorbet

2010-07-07T08:30:00.004-04:00

Light, airy and refreshing.

We committed to try the gluten-free/casein-free diet for 6 months. We wanted to see if the positive affects we heard from other families with children on the spectrum would be true for us. During that time one of the hardest things to do without was ice cream, especially at special occasions like birthdays. I found a strange sorbet recipe on a UK website. I had to figure out how to convert the measures and tweak it to our taste, but we were pleasantly surprised at the results.

I still make it every now and then even though ice cream is back on Jackson's menu.

3 cups apple juice, unsweetend
1 cup water
3 tbsp lemon juice
1 cup sugar

Add ingredients to ice cream maker and follow manufacturer's instructions. Makes about a quart and a half.

Not My Baby

2010-07-06T23:30:00.002-04:00

When the diagnosis came out of the doctor’s mouth, I felt like he had kicked me in the stomach. All of the dreams and hopes I had for my son, Jackson, seemed to die when I heard, Pervasive Developmental Disorder. The doctor went on to describe the autism spectrum and where Jackson fit on that spectrum. On the outside I sat quietly and attentively listening to what he had to say, but on the inside I was screaming, “No! Not my baby!”

Nothing had really changed in that moment. Jackson was still Jackson, but it took me a while to remember that.

I went through weeks feeling like it had to be a bad dream. It just couldn’t be real. Every time I looked at him I cried. I remember thinking the doctor had to be wrong. There had to be something I could do. There had to be a cure. I remember searching for answers like I did with his food allergies. Only, the more I searched the more confused and distressed I became. What do we do now? What does this really mean?

Unable to really answer these questions, I found myself focusing finally on what this diagnosis didn’t mean. As hard as it was to face, there were no cancer cells eating away at his little body. I would not have to watch helplessly while some disease slowly took him away from me. There were certainly scarier things to face than autism. I was finally able to accept what I heard in the doctor’s office that day, and with acceptance came hope.

I began to see his diagnosis as a blessing, an opportunity to learn and grow. Through this precious little boy, I’m learning what it really means to love someone selflessly, what it is to persevere through difficulty, and that life truly is a gift. He is my angel, my tiny window into the heart God.

I know my God doesn’t make mistakes. I believe now more than ever the things we see as imperfections here on earth will look very different when we finally see our lives from heaven’s perspective.

My son has autism, and I’m so glad he’s mine!

Taco Seasoning

2010-07-06T21:05:00.002-04:00

Most kids like some type of taco or burrito, but if you've got a kid with food allergies, this simple meal can be tough. We like to season our meat, but when we learned of our son's allergies, that meant the seasoning packets you get at the grocery store weren't going to cut it anymore. So, I figured out a recipe from scratch using the spices in my cabinet. We really like it, and the best part is that you can fine tune it to your family's taste. It works great with chicken, too.

1/2 tsp black pepper
1/2 tsp kosher salt
1 1/2 tsp chili powder
1/2 tsp onion powder
1/2 tsp garlic powder
1/2 tsp paprika
1 tsp cumin
1 tsp sugar
1-2 tsp all purpose flour, corn flour or corn starch (this helps the sauce thicken and 'stick' to the meat)
1/2 to 1 Cup water

Mix spices and flour together. Brown 2 lb ground beef. Add seasoning mixture and water. Simmer for about 10 minutes.

My son is allergic to corn; so, we use regular flour tortillas. The ones you get at the grocery store usually have wheat flour and shortening in them, both things Jackson can handle fine. You can use corn tortillas. We've even had nachos (taco meat with cheese) with potato chips (it isn't as bad as it might sound). I like to mix up the seasoning and store it in a zip-lock bag in the pantry for that night when we need something quick and easy.

Southern Skillet Biscuits

2010-07-06T13:53:00.000-04:00

Light, fluffy and melt in your mouth good.

I found the original recipe in Natalie Dupree's Southern Memories cookbook listed as the closest to the perfect biscuit recipe as she's ever found. I altered it to fit my son's food allergies and made it my own, but it is still pretty close to perfect.

To make it dairy free, you can use shortening in stead of butter and almond, soy or rice milk in stead of the buttermilk. You will just need to reduce the liquid you choose quite a bit to keep the same consistency.

1 1/2 C Self-Rising Flour, unbleached
1/8 tsp Baking Soda
1/2 tsp Salt
1 Tbsp Sugar
3 Tbsp Butter, plus 2 Tbsp melted for brushing
3/4 C Buttermilk, maybe a little more depending on the consistency

Preheat your oven to 450 degrees F.
Grease an iron skillet or 8-inch round cake pan.
In a medium mixing bowl, combine flour, soda, salt and sugar. Work in the butter with your fingers or pastry cutter until there are no lumps larger than a small pea. (You can put this mixture in an air tight container and keep in the refrigerator for a week or two, then just add your buttermilk, shape and bake.)
Stir in the buttermilk and let the dough stand for a couple minutes.
The mixture will be wet.

Pour about a cup of flour onto a plate or cutting board. Flour your hands well and spoon biscuit sized lumps of wet dough onto the plate of flour (I use an ice cream scoop).

Coat lumps with flour and work back and forth with your hands to shake off excess flour. As you shape each biscuit, place onto the skillet or cake pan placing the biscuits together so they rise against each other. Too much room will make them spread out.

Melt about 2 Tbsp butter and brush the biscuits. Bake for 15-18 minutes, or until lightly browned.

Makes about 6 biscuits.

How Do You Know?

2010-07-05T13:52:00.000-04:00

My son was diagnosed with Pervasive Developmental Disorder – Not Otherwise Specified or PDD-NOS shortly before his 3rd birthday. For those of you not familiar with that condition, it is on the autism spectrum. Below are some of the signs we saw as he grew that lead us to seek a diagnosis.

Extremely fussy infant: cried excessively for extended periods of time.

Did not respond positively to cuddling or snuggling as an infant.

Preferred to be left alone in his crib, play pen or swing.

Seemed oblivious to his surroundings.

Delayed rolling over: accomplished at about 6 months.

Delayed walking: accomplished at about 16 months.

Delayed talking: used mostly nouns describing objects, unable to communicate wants or needs through words until 3 years.

Obsessed over particular toys: carried them everywhere, slept with them, kept them in his hands at all times, refused to share.

Walked on his toes until 4.

Repeatedly banged his head on furniture and walls.

Purposefully crashed into walls, furniture and the floor.

Flapped his hands repeatedly.

Developed severe food sensitivities and aversion to certain food textures.

Developed severe eczema.

Easily frustrated.

Frequent tantrums involving kicking, screaming and banging his head on the floor.

Unable to calm himself from tantrum or crying.

Attachment to mother only.

None of these symptoms alone really mean anything serious, but all of them together can mean autism. We chose to seek a diagnosis because we wanted to know what we were dealing with, what we had to fight to make sure our child was able to be everything he was meant to be. We immediately went to work doing everything we could do to increase his chances at an independent adulthood, and every day we see progress and hope. To quote Temple Grandin, he’s different but not less.

The Beginning

2010-07-04T15:57:00.000-04:00

Hearing my one year old son’s weak cry was all it took to bring me to my wit’s end. I was afraid to feed him and afraid not to feed him. Whatever I gave him seemed to come up or run through wreaking havoc as it passed.

He had developed eczema so severe his skin was cracking and bleeding and a rash that began on his stomach was now creeping up his face.

I had tried goat milk, regular formula, soy milk and juice. Initially thinking it had to be a virus, I had even given him Pediasure® and other vitamin and protein enhanced drinks hoping that would help him recover.

Every night he grew weaker, every night his cry became more silent. He was beginning to look thin and frail, a stark contrast to the chubby baby he had always been.

Our pediatrician and my pediatrician husband were reluctant to jump to conclusions and confused at the reaction he seemed to have to everything. Words like malabsorption, colitis and Crohn’s disease danced around in my head.

I prayed desperately for help, an idea, a miracle. I received hope and determination and made a decision one night that I would learn what I needed to learn to make my son healthy again. I determined I would take him to the best doctor possible and in the mean time eliminate any problems from his diet.

I searched the library and internet looking for information on food allergies and learned as much as I possibly could. I decided milk was a likely culprit and soy was probably right up there with it, but I also decided to eliminate other common allergens as well.

I scoured the formula aisle, certain there had to be something to feed a food allergic baby. I found Alimentum® formula and almost squealed in the aisle. I removed all solid food from his diet and went back to organic baby food and even started processing some vegetables myself. Everything I gave him was certified organic and free of common allergens or made from scratch myself to ensure no undeclared allergens were entering his body.

There was a period of transition, but he was almost instantly better.

After speaking with a pediatric gastroenterologist and being reassured I was taking the proper action, I began a food challenge system. I began keeping a detailed food diary and reintroduced a different food/allergen every week making sure to document any reactions to that food/allergen. If he did react, I gave him a buffer of a few days before trying another substance. I continued this process until I felt that I had narrowed down the problem foods and made steps to eradicate these foods from his diet and even from my home.

I went through the entire pantry and refrigerator throwing away anything containing the known allergens. This was a very cleansing and therapeutic exercise. I felt confident in my treatment of his illness, and was overjoyed to see him acting like the sweet, silly little toddler he was before the onset of his allergies.

By the time my son was two years old, he was chubby and active beyond expectations, and we were able to declare some of the initial allergens safe again.

Seeing the light at the end of the tunnel for us, I began to wonder about other families going through this painful discovery process. I decided to keep up with everything I had done to share with other parents struggling with the same issues. Thus the idea for this blog was born.